the girl with all of the choices

o n e h u n d r e d e i g h t e e n

6519 words

may first- lines in the sand

~ Draco ~

Can I just say that war is fucking weird?

Usually, there are two clear cut sides. The good and the bad. Now, which side is good and which is bad is based on the interpretation of the person recollecting the war. So you have the good guys and the bad guys and they're supposed to fight until one side prevails. Right?

That was not how it had been working. There were two main parties fighting, the Dark Lord and his forces versus the Order, but that didn't mean that everyone either fell into the category of one, the other, or remaining neutral.

I mean, technically I was fighting for the Dark Lord. I had his mark. Mother and Father were appeasing Him. I was technically on His side. But at the same time, I was very much not on His side. I couldn't be on His side, not after everything I had been through with Addie. I had helped the DA more than I should have, which meant that I definitely was not on His side. 

And it wasn't just me who fell into that category. Blaise, Pansy, and Theo, all to some degree, were in the same category as me. Blaise and Theo had gone to DA meetings with me in the fall. Pansy had gone to those few once Addie had left. Of course, Theo didn't take the mark until only a month ago, but that subsequently gave him the same dilemma that we found ourselves facing.

We were all kids of Death Eaters. Pansy's father worked closely with Father back during the First War. Mr Nott was more than involved in both the First and Second Wars, as I had known. Blaise's stepfather was Antonin Dolohov, the infamous murderer. Usually, kids of Death Eaters became Death Eaters. And while we all were technically Death Eaters, that didn't mean that we were Death Eaters. Things were more complicated than either being Death Eaters or not being such. 

Of course, none of that even takes into account the fact that war is barbaric and only results in more destruction than existed beforehand. War solves no problems. But ignoring that, it's still a weird fucking concept. The Second Wizarding War was no exception to the rule I had come up with. 

It was even weirder considering how fast the end was nearing. 

I was in my room when Mum asked me to go downstairs to the drawing-room with her. The drawing-room. I hadn't been able to set foot in there since the suicide squad escaped. My eyes would always land on the spot where Granger almost fucking died and I would think about my witch, specifically about how she suffered in the same exact way, under a similar hand.  But, she had asked. She never asked me to go down there, not since what happened. I never confessed outright, but I knew that she knew how awful it was for me. But now, she was asking, which meant that it was important. 

I followed her down the grand staircase, through the hall, and finally into the drawing-room, finding Father towards the end of the hall near where the stairs led down to the dungeons where Lovegood and Thomas had been kept. He was cowering, so I stood back when Mum went to his side. 

It wasn't a few seconds later until I realized the other people in the room had appeared. Him. The Dark Lord. About 20 or so goblins. 

And then they were dead. 

His snake was there too. I didn't know why or what He said to it- I was keeping my head down out of fear that He would kill me too, seeing as He hadn't done it yet- but it was just another weird fucking thing that I could only attribute to war. 

And then He was gone. 

I had no idea why Mum wanted me down in the drawing-room. Maybe it was to show that we were loyal to Him, that we would be there to do whatever He wanted. Maybe it was in case He wanted us to do something.