the girl with all of the choices

s e v e n t y - s e v e n

**TW: Mention of panic attacks and blood**

4643 words

april twenty-fourth- reflections and new knowledge

~ Draco's POV ~

I had been in the hospital wing for something close to fifty hours. Of course, I hadn't been awake for nearly that many.

My bandages had been changed three times already. Once in the morning on the twenty-third, once in the evening of that same day, and once this morning, the twenty-fourth of April. 

People had come and go sporadically. Blaise came to visit yesterday morning before Transfiguration. He brought me the book I had been reading, the one I got for Christmas from my Puff. Theo spent most of the later afternoon in the chair at my right. Pansy came to see how I was doing before dinner last night, Blaise and Theo at her sides. Theo stayed through dinner, eating his meal with me. 

My witch came to visit once yesterday, after dinner. She looked as if she had been crying all day, and her eyes told me that there was something she was keeping secret, but I decided to not pry and save her the emotional toll. Theo had told me that she wasn't in Transfiguration, something that was very odd. She always went to classes, save for the few occasions I was able to convince her to skip and spend time with me. She came to say hi this morning, asking me how I was doing and not letting go of my hand the entire time she was here. I told her that Madam Pomfrey said I could go back to my dormitory tonight and that she should stop by to celebrate, which she enthusiastically said yes to. She was worried about me, obviously. But I was just as worried about her, about the secret hiding behind her starry eyes. 

I would ask her about everything eventually. After I could get the chance to process everything that had happened.

The past 50 hours had been a lot. 

Seeing Katie Bell was... a lot. I didn't expect her to come back, at least, not until next year. But then again, she wouldn't come back then, because she was a year ahead of me. 

I had partially forgotten about her, consciously, anyway. She still haunted my dreams, hearing the stories of what happened, how her body flew itself into the air before slamming itself into the cobblestone path, all of the worst-case scenarios of her condition at St. Mungo's. But I had stopped seeing her face in every person I saw. 

Until I literally saw her face. Next to Potter. 

He was the only person I was actually worried about knowing the truth about my allegiances. If he knew, well, everything would go to shit. He'd turn the entire school against me and get me expelled probably within the same breath. Seeing him speaking to Bell was like watching my grave being dug right in front of my eyes. Why else would he talk to her other than to ask if I was the one who cursed her? I wasn't, not directly, but I knew he was onto my case. 

That's why I ran. To the only place I could think of where nobody would find me. 

The sixth-floor boys' lavatory had been a place I had frequently visited during this school year. Nobody was ever up there, so I would go and think for hours on end. 

But she followed me. My witch. She knew something was wrong.

The only thing I could think of as I walked up there was trying to move fast enough so that she couldn't catch up to me. I knew I was starting to spiral into a panic attack, and I didn't want her to have to see that. She knew that I experienced them, but she had never been with me when one happened. But then, she was following me, pulling herself into another situation that she shouldn't have had to be involved in.