the girl with all of the choices

s e v e n

2963 words

november eighteenth- sweets and tea

I woke up brimming with anxiety. My first thought was of that stupid blond-haired boy. Did I dream of him asking me to Hogsmeade? Was that real? Did I actually say yes?

My thoughts were interrupted by Fawn. "Come on, Addie," she called from the other side of the room. "We're going to be late for breakfast."

I got up out of bed, threw on my robes, quickly brushed my teeth, grabbed my books for my morning classes and we were off.

As we walked into the Great Hall, I couldn't help but scan the crowd to see if I could find Malfoy. I looked over towards the Slytherin table when I caught sight of his stupid blond hair. One of the good things about his hair was that it always made him easy to find. Not that I was thinking all that often about his hair...

Cedric elbowed me in the side, bringing my attention back to my friends as we continued to an open spot at the Hufflepuff table. "What are you looking at, l/n?" he teased.

"Oh, no one," I muttered, before realizing my mistake.

"No one?" he asked. "You mean you were looking for someone? Who is it? A boy? Tell me who!"

"No, not a boy Cedric," I lied. "A friend. Speaking of which," I was quick to change the subject, "shouldn't you go see your girlfriend?"

"I see what you're trying to do," he said. "You're trying to change the subject so I don't continue asking you about your mystery boy. Well," he continued, "it'll work for now. I'm starving." He sat down at the table and I followed.

"Just promise me," he started, "that you'll tell me if something happens. I am your best friend after all." He had his classic Cedric smirk on his face, which I returned gracefully.

"I promise," I replied. I would tell Cedric once there was something to tell, I told myself. Malfoy and I were friends, and today we were just going somewhere... as friends. If it became something more, I'd tell him, but not a minute before then.

As I reached for a slice of toast, my eyes met with blue-grey ones. Malfoy. He smiled at me, not smirking like he usually does. It was a real smile. He even flashed his teeth slightly. They were bright white, like pearls. I smiled back ever so gently, as to not draw attention from my friends, before being drawn back into Cedric's riveting conversation about the Tournament.

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As Matt, Fawn, and I walked to Charms class, I couldn't help but think of all the possibilities of what would happen in my classes today. Would Malfoy and I talk? Would it be awkward? Would other people catch on? Or would it be just as it was yesterday? Was this a date? Were we just friends? If we weren't, what would my friends think? What would everyone think? 

The impending doom I felt in the pit of my stomach knotted itself tighter with every step I took. I started pulling at my fingers with anxiety. Mum always told me to stop doing that because it was a bad habit, but it was the only thing that kept me tied to that moment. If I kept feeling my fingers, I would constantly be reminded that I was a real person and that my anxious thoughts were just a side effect of being human. 

I swallowed my fear as we reached Professor Flitwick's classroom. Matt and Fawn walked in first, me following right behind them. I kept my head down as I walked over to my seat, trying to do anything but draw attention to myself. 

I set my books down and lowered myself into my chair. A few seconds later, Malfoy joined me. To avoid having an awkward conversation, I pulled out my copy of Shakespeare's Three Romantic Tragedies and read until Professor Flitwick started talking. Malfoy and I were friendly enough that he knew not to talk to me when I was reading unless he wanted to have my wand stuck in his eye.