the girl with all of the choices

t w e n t y - t h r e e

2671 words

june twenty-sixth- acceptance

The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes was the sunlight. I always loved the sunlight. It could make the darkest things so bright and brilliant.

The sun caught his hair so well. It made it look warmer, softer, less like ice.

I glanced over at him. He was holding my hand in his against his lips. They were soft, as usual.

His eyes filled with hope and excitement, then worry and remorse as they met mine. The longer I looked, the darker they got, reminding me of the events of the Tournament.

He's dead. Cedric is dead.

He kissed my hand as the weight of the situation returned to my conscience.

"He's really dead, isn't he," I said quietly, more of a statement than a question.

Draco nodded remorsefully before looking back down at my hand.

Wait, my mind started to move at a million kilometres a second. Why am I in the hospital wing? Where's Fawn?

"Draco," I croaked, my voice starting to break from the emotional toll of the Tournament, "why am I in the hospital wing?"

He looked at me and hesitated before speaking. "You didn't sleep up in the Astronomy Tower and you started to hallucinate. You were seeing Cedric and talking to him as if he were actually there." He paused. "Snape gave you Draught of Peace to get you here and Pomfrey gave you Dreamless Sleep potion so that you could rest. You've been here since yesterday morning."

"Oh," I said quietly. I looked up at him. His usually perfect complexion was dark. He had bags under his eyes and his hair was mussed up. "Did you sleep here?"

"I didn't want to leave you," he said quietly. "It seemed unfair."

I took my hand from his and moved over in the bed so that there was space for him. He looked exhausted, he needed to actually sleep, or at least lay somewhere that wasn't a chair. Then I grabbed his hand again to try to pull him into the bed.

I did it for two reasons. He really did need to sleep. But also, I wanted to be close to him. Cedric might be dead, but he's still here. I'm still here. We are all still here, except for Cedric. I just wanted to feel him, to know he was real and that I wasn't just hallucinating again.

"What-" he started.

"Come on," I interrupted. "You need to sleep. Come lay with me. We can look at the ceiling and pretend we can see the stars like we can in the Astronomy Tower."

"Addison-"

"I really don't care, Draco," I shot back, not taking no for an answer. "Get your arse in this bed and hold me." My voice started to break towards the end of my sentence. I knew he could tell I was on the verge of breaking down again.

Luckily, he listened and slipped himself next to me, his arm snaking its way around my waist so he could do as I said.

I rested my head on his chest and felt my heart physically hurt. I couldn't hold it in anymore. I didn't even realize I was trying to. My sobs came without warning. They physically hurt. My whole body felt like it was in an ice bath, yet my heart felt like it was on fire. Draco wrapped his arms around my tighter when I started to cry.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered over and over again as I sobbed, stroking my hair every time.

It took a while, but I calmed down. But we continued to lay there. I heard his heart start to beat slower and slower as my cries slowed, almost as if they were in sync.