the girl with all of the choices

f o r t y - n i n e

**TW: Self Harm, mentions of starvation and implication of sexual assault**

5578 words

august third- pain and commitment

~ Draco ~

The day of my downfall had arrived. 

Ever since I left Addison's, I had been in my room. I wouldn't even go out to eat. Mum brought me my food, but I never ate more than a few bites of each meal. 

Eating was a life-sustaining measure. It didn't make sense to eat when living wasn't all that enticing. 

I was going to become a Death Eater.

I was going to have the Dark Mark.

And Addison would probably end up leaving me. 

The only thing that kept me going was the prospect of seeing her again. Although, these prospects were only positive for a moment, as thinking of seeing her drew back the question of what she would do when she found out. 

I didn't really want to know.

For now, she just lived in my head. I had successfully mapped out her entire body, replaying her movements in my mind whenever I would start to overthink. She always plays with her fingers when she's nervous. She tucks her hair behind her ear when she's insecure. She plays with the necklace I got her when she is lost in thought. Her ministrations always seemed to calm me. 

Today, I would have to leave my room. 

Today, I would have to leave the Manor.

Today, I would have to forget the idea of being with her after this is all over. 

She would never be with me after today ended. 

There was a knock at the door.

"Draco? I have lunch."

Mum.

I rolled over in bed, staring at the space she would have occupied if she were here. She always slept on the right side of the bed whenever we would spend the night together. She was always the right. And I was always the left.

Two sides.

Completely different. 

Like Romeo and fucking Juliet. 

Except we weren't dead yet.

The door opened and Mum walked in, crossing over towards my bed with a plate in her hand. She sat where Addie's knees would have been. I almost yelled at her for sitting in her spot, but I had to remind myself that she wasn't actually here.

She looked at the full plates adorning the various surfaces of my room. There were two on my dresser, three on my desk, and one on the floor next to my bed. There was also a new one on the nightstand on the right side of the bed. It was breakfast. 

I guess I slept through breakfast. 

"Draco, darling, you need to eat something," Mum chided, stroking my hair with her fingers.

"I'm not hungry," I muttered emotionlessly.

"You have to eat something," she repeated, her voice stern with worry. "I am not leaving this room until you eat something."

I glanced up at her, finally daring to meet her eyes. 

"Then I guess we'll both be here forever. You might want to get comfy, Mum," I sneered.