the girl with all of the choices

f i f t y - s e v e n

4428 words

october eleventh- amortentia, round one

~ Addison ~

NEWT Classes were no joke. 

I had spent the better part of the last month studying, just to do well in day-to-day classes. 

When I wasn't studying, I was worrying. 

Hannah had left the day she found out her mother was killed. Matt was a mess. He had barely left his room other than for classes. Ainsley had been spending time with him to make sure he was eating. I felt terrible for him. His lack of interest in everything was very worrisome.

But I was also worried about myself. Not myself, per see, but my parents. I wrote to them to tell them to be extra careful, to always make sure the doors were locked and not to go anywhere they didn't have to. I wrote to Fawn's parents as well. I asked them to look after my parents, to keep them updated on everything they saw in the Prophet so they could be as informed as possible. I even asked if they would be willing to let my parents stay in their saferoom if that needed to happen. Of course, they said yes to everything I asked. We were practically family. 

I was also worried for other reasons. School. Maintaining a somewhat adequate social life. Tonks. 

Draco. 

We hadn't been the same since we got back. Well, he hadn't been the same since we got back. Other than that first day, he hadn't really kissed me. At all. I would ask him to go to Hogsmeade with me, or to have a study date in the kitchens, or to just lay around in his dormitory, but he would never be able to. He always said he was busy. 

I didn't want to push him, but it was frustrating. A few words here or there in between classes. A kiss on the cheek before he walked away, the lips if I was lucky. No letters. No dates. No explanation.

And that worried me.

I knew that he said that he loved me, but I couldn't help but doubt it. There was a little voice in the back of my head that kept telling me that everything he said last spring was true. That he didn't love me. That he was using me. Except, he wasn't getting anything now, so that couldn't make sense.

It was frustrating, infuriating even. I kept wondering if I was enough, if I was doing something wrong. I must have been doing something wrong for him to never want to spend time with me. 

It was a Friday, thank Merlin. All I had to do was survive Potions. With Draco.

I can do this.

I was sitting at lunch with Fawn, Justin, and Ernie. Ainsley and Matt would only very rarely grace us with their presence for meals. Justin moved over to sit next to Ernie so that we weren't configured awkwardly. 

Everything felt off.

We ate in silence, for the most part. I was reading through my Potions textbook to prepare for today's class. We were to brew Amortentia, and I didn't want to make any mistakes. Slughorn seemed to like me, calling me his 'Star Hufflepuff' and whatnot, and I wanted to keep that title.

"Amortentia is the most powerful love potion in the world. It is distinctive for its mother-of-pearl sheen, and steam rises from the potion in spirals. Amortentia smells different to each person, according to what attracts them."