the girl with all of the choices

f o r t y - t h r e e

4333 words

june eighteenth- confessions

How do you go on after your world crumbles around you?

I didn't know, but I was beginning to learn. 

I had managed to work through Cedric's death, I could work through this too.

Except this was... different. Cedric was suddenly gone. I couldn't see him or talk to him. Draco was very much still here.

Defence Against the Dark Arts the first time after was terrible. 

I walked in with Fawn and Justin, who were flanked at my sides defensively. 

I glanced over at the desk we sat at. He wasn't here yet. My eyes wandered the room, looking for any of his other mates. None of them were here yet.

Umbridge was at the front of the room, looking over a piece of parchment while waving her wand towards the chalkboard, using magic to write about today's lesson. 

I approached my desk slowly, placing my books gently onto the cold surface.

Cold. Like him. 

Stop it. Stop it Addie.

"Are you sure you want to sit here?" Justin asked quietly.

"Yeah, I'll be fine."

"I could take your place," he offered, placing a hand on my arm reassuringly.

"Or I could," Fawn commented. "I could deck him this time. Not just a slap but a whole strike to the jaw. Or the nose. He'd look better with a broken nose."

"No, Fawn," I reprimanded her shaking Justin's hand off of me. "That wouldn't help anyone."

"But-"

"No. End of discussion. I'll be fine."

They looked at me reluctantly before crossing to sit at their desk across the room. 

I took my seat hesitantly. I actually would have preferred to switch seats with one of them, at least for today. But then he would have known that he got to me. He would have won. 

I couldn't let him win. 

So I sat at our desk, reading a book I had picked up from the library. I glanced up at Fawn and saw both her and Justin glaring menacingly at the door. I turned to look and saw them.

Well, him.

And Blaise.

And Theo.

And Pansy.

His hair was messy and he had dark circles under his eyes. His robes were dishevelled compared to their usual pristine state. 

And he just stood there, staring back at me. 

"Move out of the way, you tosser," Blaise muttered, dragging Pansy past him towards their desk. 

With that, I broke from his gaze and turned back around to face the front of the room, avoiding meeting Fawn or Justin's eyes on my adventure.

I heard them behind me, bickering under their breaths.

"Theo I can't."

"You have to, Malfoy. Grow a pair."

I felt the air move beside me as Theo walked past our desk to sit at his, a few rows up. I watched him as he walked, his robes flowing behind him just as Draco's had when he left.