the girl with all of the choices

n i n e t y - f i v e

**CW: Mention of Drugs**

8509 words

september twenty-seventh- guilt

~ Addison ~

He was warm beside me when I awoke. It felt strangely familiar in a way that I couldn't pinpoint. But, the discomfort stemming from my lack of comprehensive memories was quickly squashed when he adjusted slightly and tightened his hold around me.

I was safe.

I had been spared from the nightmares last night thanks to the vial of Dreamless sleep he had provided me. I knew they would come eventually. There was no way that I wouldn't eventually fall asleep and find a pair of beady black eyes staring back at me, a dagger held to my throat as the ripples of the curse flayed themselves through my body, keeping me just on the brink of death until somehow I awoke, safe in my Slytherin's arms.

By the looks of him, the potion had worked its intended purpose for him as well. He was on his side, partially facing me with his mouth barely parted. One arm was thrown haphazardly above his head, on top of the pillow where mine was resting. His other hand was wrapped safely around me, pinning me into him as if he was afraid someone would sneak into the Room and steal me from him in the middle of the night as he slept without dreams.

I always loved to watch him like this.

Peaceful. Content. Wholly himself. There were no bad influences or naysayers when he was in a state of dreamless sleep. It was just him.

I was so unbelievably grateful for him when he was like this. There was nothing to pollute him, to pollute us.

He was a night sky full of stars.

It was a long while before he awoke, but I didn't mind. I could have stared at him for hours. Although, when I first noticed him stirring, something deep within me, call it an instinct, implored me to close my eyes and pretend as if I was asleep.

So, I closed them and waited, listening as my other senses heightened to his presence.

He groaned as he usually did, the pillow underneath my head shifting as he presumably raked his hand through his hair.

His hand around my waist shifted and began caressing my side gently, the movements light enough that I knew he thought I was asleep still.

The mattress shifted slightly and I felt his eyes on me through my closed lids. He was doing to me what I always did to him.

Just as I felt my face begin to flush from his prying eyes, he leaned into me and placed a barely-there kiss on my forehead before mumbling into my skin, his lips ghosting over me as he spoke.

"I love you," he murmured, his voice just as barely palpable as his kiss. "I promise you I won't let anyone hurt you ever again. You're mine and I am going to keep you safe. I'm so sorry."

He retracted his face from near mine but continued his caresses on my side as I heard him...

Sniffle.

The mattress shifted again as I presumed he sat up. His hand left my side and found my palm, tenderly intertwining out fingers before letting two of his fingers pass over the pulse point on my wrist. He sighed in relief and brought my knuckles to meet his lips, placing a few gentle kisses as my pinky finger brushed his cheek.

His wet cheek.

He was crying. Silently crying after waking up. After looking at me. After promising and apologizing in one fell swoop.