the girl with all of the choices

t w e n t y - t w o

2547 words

june twenty-fifth and twenty-sixth- scoldings

~ Draco ~

She was lying in the bed when they finally let me see her. I had followed them down here, I wasn't just going to leave her. She was hurt. I wanted to kill whoever was responsible for Diggory's death. They hurt her.

I'm guessing she didn't sleep when I did. I really thought she was asleep. Her body was still and her eyes were closed, her breathing so calm that if you didn't pay attention, you might've thought she was dead.

Except she wasn't dead. She was living in her own personal hell.

God, it made me angry.

I wanted to punch someone. I thought about Potter, but he was probably traumatized too. I mean, he actually saw Diggory die.

No matter who you are, that fucks you up.

I remember watching my grandfather die in second year. I was home for the holiday, and he was at the Manor. He never came to the Manor. As soon as I got home, mum brought me into the room where he was staying. I never liked my grandfather, but Mum was really upset. He was her father, and he started to die one day.

It was painful, you could tell. They never told me what he died of. But I was there. I saw him stop breathing. I was only 13. It fucked with my head.

I closed my eyes, trying to think of anything but death.

Instead, I saw her frantically run out of the Great Hall. Her face was so pale, she looked as if she might have dropped dead right then and there. I followed after her.

She wasn't moving very fast so it was easy to keep up. But I didn't go right to her side. I didn't think she would want that.

I saw her turning back, a smile spread across her face as she spoke. But she wasn't speaking to me. Suddenly, we were in the courtyard. She started to freak out. It was weird. No, it was terrifying.

She was calling his name, searching around where she was standing as though he was with her and then suddenly had gone missing. Well, in a way he had. But she kept doing it. Calling his name. Turning over her shoulder.

I wanted to move toward her, to tell her he wasn't here. But my feet were stuck again.

Luckily, a few of the Professors rushed over to her.

She was frantic, telling them she had to find Cedric, that they had to help her. My chest panged with guilt and sorrow. I didn't realize it, but I had started to cry. Death makes me weird. You wouldn't think so, considering I'm a Slytherin and my family is what they are, but I hated it. It made me feel so out of control. I hated feeling out of control.

And then she turned to me. And she said things that I could never forget. Well, she didn't say them. She screamed them.

She had never done that before.

And it was my fault.

She was right.

I was jealous of her and Diggory. They were always so close, and they seemed to have a bond that I would never be able to recreate.

It wasn't just him though.

She was right.

She had friends. I had none.

And I was completely jealous.

Was it my fault? Did I somehow do this? I never wanted to hurt her, I just wanted to spend time with her. She made me feel so warm, so not like anyone else had ever made me feel in my life.