Nadine and Adele

A Visit from the Grim Reaper

News of her sudden death caught everyone off guard; although once the initial shock had passed, it wasn't deemed as that much of a surprise. Death was only inevitable in her case; but that doesn't make its occurrence any less significant for those who knew her. Adele has certainly been affected by her death; which seems to have taken its hardest impact upon her.

Monday morning, and the word spread like wildfire throughout all the homerooms. Miss Krinsky had died from a stroke over the weekend.

With the exception of her grandfather, Miss Krinsky was the only other person that Adele knew, who had died. Sure, her mother died when she was an infant, but Adele never had gotten the chance to know her. But Adele did know Miss Krinsky. As a matter of fact, coming in right after Grandma and Grandpa Joe...and the just recently added Nadine Martin...Miss Krinsky was the next person on her list of those few select others that she could comfortably interact with.

For awhile, Miss Krinsky was the only person who would freely talk with Adele on a regular basis at school; unlike her teachers and other faculty members who would only speak to her when warranted...or the students when they were teasing her.

Adele always remembered her first day of school, when her grandmother dropped he roff in the office; and she had to wait until Principal Davis and several others conferred to decide where she should be placed. She was frightened...almost petrified...and just wished that Grandma would come back and take her home.

But then something wonderful happened. This kindly, sweet little old lady, who she had never seen before, approached her with a tin of cookies and the warmest smile... barring Grandma's of course...that she had ever seen; then addressed her as 'sweetie' and offered her some of those sweet tasting morsels to eat while she was waiting. Grant it, they were store bought and not as delicious as Grandma's home baked delicacies; but the gesture behind it made those cookies received with just as much enthusiasm and appreciation. And even if there weren't cookies involved during their first encounter, that smile and acknowledgement alone would have been enough to solidify their bonding. For at that moment, Adele had made an instant connection with Miss Krinsky.

From then on, whenever Adele was having a difficult time at school...which she usually had a couple of times a day...she would always seek refuge by making a quick stop at the office to visit Miss Krinsky; who would always welcome her company. And Miss Krinsky would always acknowledge and spend a moment or two with Adele whenever she would run into her at school. Even after Mr. Trudeaux began speaking with her in the hallway at the beginning of her sophomore year...and she made kind of a connection with him...it was always Miss Krinsky who Adele would seek out when she needed comforting.

And although this year Nadine has taken over Miss Krinsky's role as Adele's confidante and 'lifeline' at school...with Adele spending most of her time with Nadine... she would still stop by the office every day and have a quick chat with Miss Krinsky; even if only to say hello. In essence, one could liken Miss Krinsky's new role as being Adele's proverbial 'favorite pair of old shoes'. Though her closet may become full with new pairs of shoes, she doesn't throwaway that pair; because they provide that special relaxing, comfortable fit. And even if she hardly ever wears them, it's assuring to know that they're still around; always on hand to wear when the desire arises.

But now Miss Krinsky is gone, and Adele will never be able to 'wear that favorite pair of old shoes' ever again; even if she wanted to. And she's totally heartbroken over it.

For the next few days following the news of Miss Krinsky's death, Adele stood home; for the pain was too unbearable for her to attend school. How could she go...knowing that Miss Krinsky wouldn't be there to greet her with that graciously kind smile and warmly sincere addressing to of as 'sweetie'. And now that she has returned to school, Adele seems to have regressed back to her old self; becoming extremely introverted and distant...even with Nadine somewhat.

Adele still has lunch with Nadine, Sarah, Trish and Janice, but barely speaks; even when spoken to. She remains silent and no longer participates in class. And the most troubling behavior exhibited by her now, in Nadine's opinion, is that Adele begins to sob and becomes temporarily withdrawn from everything every time she passes the school's main office. Because of this, Nadine makes a conscientious effort to guide Adele on alternate routes between classes; being sure to avoid passing the office as much as possiblet o keep Adele's sullen transgressions down to a minimum.

Seeing how Miss Krinsky's death affected Adele has reaffirmed Nadine's belief that she made the right decision by not telling Adele that she's more than likely going to die herself. Nadine's worried about what Adele's reaction to her death might be. She's scared that even if she can get Adele back on track and be comfortable associating with others again...what if when she dies, Adele becomes so distraught that she reverts back to the way she was before they became friends...and everyone who started to see and appreciate Adele for who she really was instead of the perceived "Retard" or "Freak" once again starts looking at her in that manner; causing the ridiculing and mistreatment to begin all over. This is Nadine's greatest fear...but not the only thought preoccupying her mind recently; because Miss Krinsky's death has also had an affect on Nadine as well.

Nadine realizes she's going to die from her leukemia; but she's never dwelt upon it. She keeps telling Adele that the treatments are going to make her better; so, even though subconsciously she knows otherwise, she hardly ever consciously focuses on her inescapable, approaching demise. That was at least up until now.

Since Miss  Krinsky's passing has been the main topic of conversation throughout the school recently, Nadine can't seem to avoid being reminded of death; and it constantly remains in the forefront of her mind. Miss Krinsky's dead now; and sometime in the near future, she'll be dead, too.

Although Nadine feels bad that Miss Krinsky had died...especially being how her death has upset Adele so much...she rationalizes her death, like everyone else, as being a result of her advanced years. It seems only natural that after having lived such a long life, Miss Krinsky was bound to die sooner or later. But it's different in her case. True, everyone dies one day; yet this doesn't seem fair. Miss Krinsky was in her seventies; while she hasn't even reached her seventeenth birthday.

Nadine's starting to obsess over all the things she's going to miss out on; and for the first time in her entire life, she's beginning to feel sorry for herself. She doesn't want to; but she can't help it. The harsh reality of her fate has finally slapped her in the face; and Nadine's feeling the sharp stinging from it. It resounds in her mind...

"I'm going to die. I'm...going...to...die."

And once the self-pity begins to fade away, the anger rises; and Nadine goes from wondering "Why me, God?" to demanding to know "Why, God?" She's angry that her life's about to end; that she was only allowed such a short time to live. She's devastated over the fact that she won't have the chance to experience everything that she's been looking forward to doing...to graduate from high school and attend college...to fall in love and get married...have and raise a family of her own...have a career...to be able to enjoy all that life has to offer. Essentially; to just be able to grow old...to someday reach Miss Krinsky's age, or older.

Then Nadine goes back to worrying about what's going to happen with Adele once she's gone. And after that...

What about her mom and sister? Sure, they seem to be getting along a little better now than they were before; but is that only because of what they're going through with her? What about after she dies; will they go back to only communicating with each other through arguments? Will Corrine run off again; and this time not come back since she was no longer around? She worries...

"If Cor abandons Mom; what would happen to Mom...and Cor? And what about Dad?"