Nadine and Adele

The Night After

Nadine's wrapped in a blanket, sitting on the Wilson's back porch swing; while Adele sits on the porch railing, gazing into a mason jar containing the fireflies she caught earlier that evening.

"Adele...I'm sorry."

Adele remains looking with wonderment at her captive quarry. "For what?"

"For lying to you...telling you that I was going to be okay. It was wrong for me to tell you that."

"That's okay. My Grandma told me that you only said it so I wouldn't be sad...that you were trying to keep me from being hurt."

"Yeah...I was...but it still wasn't right. You're my best friend, Adele...and I should have told you the truth. I'm so sorry."

Adele takes a moment from staring at the fireflies to smile at Nadine. "Don't be. It's okay." She returns to looking upon the jar's inhabitants.

There's silence between them as Nadine prepares to reveal to Adele all her fears and concerns that she's kept pent up inside ever since she found out her leukemia's returned. There was a time when Nadine would have shared these thoughts and feelings with Corrine; but, realizing how they may cause her sister even more emotional grief than she's already evidently going through, Nadine decided against it. Nadine wants Corrine to be at least semi-emotionally strong enough to be there as support for their mom; who's now starting to slowly break down after having accepted the fact that she's indeed going to die. 

 Besides, Nadine's gotten to the point where it feels more comfortable, and natural, to relate her innermost thoughts and feelings to Adele; even more so than her own sister. Actually, Nadine's been anxiously waiting for the moment when Adele finally discovered the truth about her condition; this way she can release all those anxieties which have been eating away at her inside almost as fast as the disease itself.

"Well...I still feel bad about it...so I want to make it up to you for it now." Nadine becomes momentarily quiet again as she builds up the nerve to continue on. "I'm going to tell you something...something that I haven't told anyone else. But you have to promise me, Adele...promise that you won't tell anybody...especially my mom."

Adele looks to Nadine and tells her, "Okay..." She places the jar down on the railing, then goes sits beside Nadine. "I promise; I won't."

"Okay...good. Thanks." Nadine takes Adele's hands and looks her directly in the eyes; as tears form in her own. "I don't want to die, Adele. I don't"

"I don't want you to die either, Nadine."

"It's not fair. There's so many things I haven't done...stuff I want todo...places I want to see..." Nadine softly laughs, "I haven't even decided what I want to be when I grow up, yet."

Nadine breaks down and starts to cry. Adele takes Nadine in her arms and tightly hugs her. After a couple of minutes of heavy sobbing, Nadine forces herself to stop crying; then gradually frees herself from Adele's embrace. She once again takes hold of Adele's hands and looks her directly back in the eyes.

"I'm scared, Adele. What if this is it?"

"What do you mean...I don't understand?"

"What if this is all there is, Adele? Life...what if there's nothing after we die...it's over...and there's nothing else left for us. They put us in the ground...and we just rot. The end. Just darkness... nothingness. No Heaven..."

One can say that Adele had been raised to be, not a 'fearing', but a God loving Christian, who attended church on a regular basis, and maintained a strong belief and faith in the Lord; Estelle saw to that. So, as soon as Nadine utters that seemingly blasphemous remark, Adele can't help but to break out of her usual, polite mannered demeanor and curtly interjects...

"Don't you say that, Nadine Martin! There is too a Heaven!"

Nadine wipes away some of the tears that started trickling down her cheeks and sniffles. "How do you know that, Adele? How do you know there's a Heaven?"

Adele, responding with all her childlike conviction, wholeheartedly assures Nadine, "Because Preacher Redmond says there's a Heaven.  And, he couldn't say there was a Heaven if there wasn't...'cause he's a preacher...and preachers ain't supposed to lie. So, if he says there's a Heaven, it has to be true."

Having been in the presence of the 'new Adele' these past few months...a more outgoing and amazingly strong, personal support system for her...Nadine had almost forgotten about that endearingly charming, childlike innocence possessed by Adele. But it once again has revealed itself through that sincere, simplistic rationale for the existence of Heaven; and Nadine can't help but to chuckle.

Then it hits Nadine. Adele had gone through most of her life shunned by her peers; being teased and tormented. Ostracized merely because she behaved differently from everyone else; ridiculed over a condition that she had no control over. And yet she holds no contempt for anyone over it. She maintains an innocence and sweetness that very few individuals possess; at least not many that Nadine has encountered. And she still only sees mostly the good things in life, and people, despite what she had suffered through. 

Nadine suddenly realizes that if Adele can be subjected to such a cruel ordeal, yet still somehow manage to turn out to be the wonderful person that she was...then...there must be a God...and a Heaven. She concedes...

"Okay, Adele...if Preacher Redmond says there's a Heaven; then there must be a Heaven."

"Uh-huh. And besides; I know there's a Heaven...because that's where my Mama and Grandpa Joe are."

Nadine smiles. "Yeah...they are; aren't they? You're right...there is a Heaven..." She starts to cry again. "But I'm still scared, Adele."

Adele lovingly takes Nadine in her arms. "I'm scared, too; Nadine. But I've been talking to my Mama and Grandpa Joe; and I asked them to take care of you when you go to Heaven. They'll be with you up in Heaven, Nadine...so don't worry...you'll be okay."