Now and Forever / s.w

Chapter 32

I had one last night in the hospital, and then I got to go home tomorrow.
All these random people, except my parents, Stefan, and Marley, were telling me about these memories I can't actually remember.
The guy, Sam, looked most hurt about the accident. Was he my boyfriend? Oh no, that would suck. I just feel so bad.
Another guy, Jack Gilinsky, looked sad. Sam was in the room, sitting on the chair. I sat up and said,

"Are you my... boyfriend, Sam?"

Sam looked at me with his puffy eyes, and said,

"Well, it's complicated. But I'll explain. Gilinsky liked you, a lot. He was dating Leigh, the blonde. But they broke up, because of his feelings for you. We were dating while this happened, and you told me. I got mad, and ran out to get mad at G. Then I got drunk and when I came home..."

Sam had tears running down his face.

"I- I hit you. But I couldn't remember. Then I got scared, and ran to my ex Julianne. And when you saw, you got sad and went for a drive. Then, something hit your car and this happened. And I can't live with this, thinking that you're always sad all the time because of me. This accident was probably even my fault. But you can't remember any of it. And I love you so much, for the mistakes I've made, I regret them. Because I fuck up all the time, and for the dumbest reasons. But that's the story, and so if you want to call me your boyfriend, or not, I'm fine with it. You deserve the world, and I failed giving it to you. I failed you."

I looked at how hurt Sam looked, I felt sorry for him. He probably didn't sleep at all this week. Thinking about me, why couldn't I remember? I waved Sam to come over, and once he did, I kissed him.

Once our lips touched, I got all of these memories back. Of Sam, of our seventh month.
We were together for a long time, damn.
Of the first time he said he loved me, the first time I even met him. The image of Sam and Julianne. And me running to Gilinsky, saying that I wanted him.
But it just wasn't the truth.

"You didn't fail me, but once I get out of this hospital, I need to be on my own. I need some time to think about what I want, about what I need."

Sam took my hand and said,

"I will wait for you, El."

I shook my head, and said,

"Don't Sam, this isn't goodbye. I give you freedom to go."

❥❥❥

I got released today, and all I got was a cast on my arm and some stitches. I was sore from the airbag, but hopefully I'll be better soon.
I told Jack that we couldn't be together, because it wasn't right. I didn't feel the same way about him.
We were walking out of the hospital, when I stopped and said,

"I remember."

Everyone froze, and then came to hug me.

"Leigh, Mal, Kaylee, Britt, Skathan, Mike, G and J, and Sammy."

I remembered Sam, when I kissed him, but I got all the memories of my friends back.
We drove home, and we all hung out at my house. I pulled Leigh into another room, and I said,

"Leigh, you must hate me, and I was the reason that you and Jack broke up. And I remember you two being the cutest. I feel so bad, I just wanted to apologize and you have every right to be mad at me."

Leigh hugged me, and said,

"Jack and I both knew we weren't gonna last, and it's okay. It's tougher on you than it is on me. I'm okay, but don't apologize. I'm not mad."

I smiled, and we walked back into the living room.

"Well, its a week into summer. And it's raining. What should we do?"

We all looked at each other and said at the same time,

"Netflix."