Maid To Wife - Luke Bryan

37 - Rocky Relationship

It's been over a month since Patrick's funeral. I have put myself in some sort of shell. Luke has tried breaking me out of it but everything he does isn't working and that is putting a toll on our relationship. Luke goes on tour next week and so far we don't really talk to each other. Either he or I will fall asleep on the couch or in the bed and the other one is not there. I really hate this but I guess that is how it has to happen for right now. I can't even get myself out of it.

For over a week after the day in the hospital the boys have stayed with Luke's parents. Luke didn't want them seeing my neck as bad as it was. I understand that and I'm happy that he did that. Even now I hardly talk to the kids even. I don't ignore then but I'm not as peppy. I don't even do my yoga.

Luke has tried almost everything to get me out of my slump. We went out to dinner and I mostly played with my food. He invited my friends over and that didn't do it. We went to a bar but that freaked me out so he had to bring me home. He tried making me have a girl's day but that was just me walking around with Jess and a few other women. Luke's even tried to do late night movies and cuddling. I would cuddle him but nothing is working. My heart is yelling at me for not doing anything back with him but it's also still hurting from seeing what I saw.

I haven't actually said a word to Luke in three days. He is mostly working on things in the basement, off hunting, or doing something with the boys. Today I was in the living room just sitting looking at the TV. The boys were playing off to the side with trucks and Luke was downstairs. Jason was downstairs with him. The two men came up from downstairs and came into the living room.

"Hey boys go get your shoes. Y'all's are going over to Jason's for a sleep over." Luke told them with a smile on his face. I just looked at him confused.

"Yay!" They both yelled and ran upstairs. I just looked at him then at Jason. They both looked at me.

"What's up Nikki?" Jason asked me. I shrugged and looked at the TV.

"Watching Rick and Morty." I told him. He just nodded. It was a couple minutes of silence before the boys ran downstairs and Tate jumped up on the couch for me to tie his shoes. Which I did. He thanked me and hugged me. Then he jumped off the couch.

"I'll help you get the boys in your truck then, I'll come pick them up tomorrow." Luke said. He rallied the boys out the door with him and Jason. I wonder what Luke is doing? He still hasn't talked to me but does look at me. When he got inside he sat on the love seat to my right. I saw out of the corner of my eye him staring at me.

"Could I help you?" I asked him simply. He just gave me a blank expression then he frowned.

"We need to talk."  He said disappointedly. I put my head down. Here it is. I'm getting broken up with. I'm going to have to move out. Find somewhere else to live. Find another job. Leave the boys and him behind. I felt my heart breaking more.

"Okay." I said in above a whisper.

"Look at me." He said sternly. I slowly raised my head up and looked at him. He had a hard expression on his face. I frowned and sighed. I closed my eyes for a few seconds then opened them.

"I know what you're going to say Luke. I understand and respect that. I'll figure out what to do by tonight." I told him. He looked at me shocked. I stood up and grabbed my phone out of my pocket before he spoke. I was about to turn around but he got up.
"You're going to get help?" He asked. I then looked at him confused.

"No, I'm going to move out." I said putting my head down. I let a tear slip. "I have been so fucked up since Pat's funeral. I have been lazy. I don't do anything. I have slacked on the merch things. I hardly make dinner. I don't talk much. I avoid people. I don't leave the house. I only help the boys when I have to. I don't sleep next to you. I don't show you any care. I basically take you for granted. I've been a real piece of shit to you. I know. I understand that this isn't working and my actions put a damper on our relationship to make us hardly know or talk to each other." I had more tears falling now. "I don't deserve you." I sobbed out. My knee's felt weak. "I have not been the person you wanted to be with. I'm different and I know it's not working. I understand that you don't like how I've been, and I know you've tried your hardest but nothing worked. I'm failing at everything right now. I'm ruining everything." I cried out. My knee's started to shake. Then my legs gave out and I was going to the floor. I was ready for the impact but it didn't come. I was still crying but I felt two strong arms around me. I felt part of my legs on the floor. The rest of me was sitting on Luke. He pulled me head to his chest and held me close to him.

"Shh baby. It's alright. It's not like that. Shhh. It'll all be okay baby. I'm here. I'm not leaving nor are you. I promise." He said and kept repeating till I stopped crying and just held onto him tight. I really didn't want to lose him. I haven't opened up and cried like this in a month.

"I'm so sorry." I whispered.

"Don't be. I know what you're going through. I know how it feels to lose siblings. I may have not experienced it to the extent that you did but I'm here. You just need to talk to me. Talk it out and don't close yourself off. You have me so worried about you. I was going to offer taking you to a therapist because I was talking to Steven and he thinks you had PTSD symptoms if it wasn’t that then depression. I don’t like seeing you how you have been. I know its how you deal with your problems but baby, you got to talk to someone and I'm always here day or not. If I'm not here, call me, I'll get you a plane asap, and I'd have you where I am within hours and I can hold you. I'll do anything to see you smile. I haven't heard you laugh, smile, joke, or really talk with any kind of emphasis in your voice in so long. I don't want to lose you. I don't want you to leave. I don't want you to move out. I want you here. The boys want you here. We would be lost without you. You're the boy's mama. They love you like it. I won't give up on you for them or for me. You make me complete again. I feel more complete with you than Caroline EVER made me feel. I love you more than anything. This month scared me. Not as much as when we went to the hospital but this was close to it. I thought I was losing you and I didn't know what to do. Please don’t leave. I want to help." Luke said with sadness in his voice. I hugged him tighter. He loves me more than his ex wife? He does have a point with the kids and all of this other things. I shouldn't shut myself out but that is my automatic response. I love Luke with all my heart and feel a strong bond with him more than ever.

"I promise I won't leave. I don't ever want to. I'd be heartbroken without you or the boys. Y'all's are my life." I told him. He kissed the top of my head.

"We will get through this. Just talk to me. I'll help you through this. You're coming with me next week. I got your ticket. I want you to go with me and have fun. Get away from this house. You haven't left in forever. Mama thought that would be the best idea. She made me realize how I needed to approach this. I had to get you alone. I had to get you at a point and come off as if it was going to be bad because you'd freak which you did. I hated doing that to you but now you've let out some things. Just remember, I will fight to keep you even if it's from that damn wall you built up again." I let a small smile creep on my face and pulled away from him. He looked me right in the eyes and wiped away a tear.

"I love you Luke." I told him.

"I love you too baby girl. Come on. Let's get something to eat, and then we can talk more about what's keeping you behind that wall. "He said rubbing my back. I just nodded. He leaned in and kissed me. I savored this because it was the first kiss we have had in such a long time. I haven't been in his arms either. I finally got to smell his wonderful scent other than when I lay in bed.

We got up and did exactly what he said. The talk was very hard for me to do since it was bottled up. I finally got everything out though and he helped and talked me through a lot. I felt like a huge weight was gone from my shoulders. It was out and off my mind now. This made me feel like everything is able to get better.

We ended up cuddled on the couch watching Forest Gump.

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I hope y'alls enjoyed this. Everything is going back to normal from what it seems. What do you expect to happen next? 15 votes till the next chapter. :D

-Pup