Comeback

8 - Sanem

Can

I am back to being a man drowning in his self-pity, I felt like I was in the same situation as when I left Istanbul, it had taken me more than two months to react after my departure, but now I could not allow myself this luxury.

I took refuge at the hut, this place has always been able to reassure me and allow me to clear my mind, I've been thinking and rethinking for two days, I have to find a solution, I've already lost too much time, I have to find Sanem as soon as possible and explain the situation, I have to tell her that I love her and that I will never leave her again.

Two days in which I hardly ate or slept but in the end I managed to work out a plan, refreshed by the new purpose I close the shed and go home for a shower and, finally, for a good night's sleep.

I wake up very early in the morning and the first thought is Sanem, my determination to find her is increasingly firm, I get up with a new energy, shower breakfast and .... disguise.

Yes, my plan is to disguise myself as much as possible to avoid being noticed.
I gather my hair in a bun and hide it under a baseball cap, then a simple wide shirt, jeans, leather jacket and no accessories but sunglasses.
I think I can manage to go unnoticed, I hope.

I leave the off-road vehicle near the sea and proceed on foot with my head down, I don't know many people around there, but I can't risk being recognized.
I stop in a side alley from which I can glimpse the door of Sanem's house.
It's still early, I don't even think Nihat has left to go to the store yet.
I spend the day like this, every now and then I move, change alley, change side of the street in the hope of seeing some relevant movement, but Medvike doesn't move from the neighborhood for the whole day. I return home disappointed but not discouraged, tomorrow is another day and I'll be there again.

So it's been three days in a row, now I'm back here, it's early afternoon and I'm starting to lose hope of finding a useful trail.
As I'm facing this lonely moment of despair, I see the door open and a Medvike with a bag and coat leaves the house heading towards the dock area.

I follow her at a safe distance with my heart beating to a new rhythm, that of hope.

She stops at the bus stop on the waterfront and I stand aside, hiding behind the trunk of a tree.
I see her come forward ready to catch the bus that is arriving at that moment, she gets on at the front door while I run and manage to get on at the last moment from the back door.
Luckily she's wearing a bright purple coat and it's easy to keep an eye on her from a distance among the various patrons. The bus continues its run for about half an hour when I see her get up from her seat, ready to get off.

I get up in turn, advancing to the front of the bus ready to get off after her. We are in the new district of Beyoglu, the heart of modern Istanbul, I follow her through the crowds strolling through the stores of the main shopping street, Istiklal Avenue.
For a moment I fear that she has simply come to do some shopping until I see her take a side street, leaving the crowded area behind, and then enter a maze of streets and alleys.

We walk for about fifteen minutes until she enters a huge wrought iron gate.
At first I don't understand what it's all about then I see the sign, it's a nursing home, do you want to see that  has she come to visit some friend or relative ?
Ah Can Ah!
I'm really starting to get discouraged, but since I'm here I might as well take a look.
I go in through the gate, I see her disappear around the corner of the main building and I follow her, being careful not to be conspicuous, she climbs a few steps and disappears into a side pavilion.
I'm hesitant to follow her inside, it would be much more difficult to hide in there, I'm still a big man not so easy to pass unnoticed in a narrow hospital corridor.

I stand there, undecided about what to do, while I look around for a moment appreciating the park full of trees, shrubs and benches well cared for but when I bring my gaze back to the entrance from where Medvike disappeared my heart skips a beat.

There she is again, walking outside, supporting her arm.... SANEM.

It's her but it's not her, that's not my Sanem, she's almost unrecognizable.

She's lost weight in a frightening way, she's pale, her face is drawn and her gaze is lost in emptiness.

There is no smile, no sweet eyes, always curious about the world around her.

My Sanem is gone.