Comeback

15 - Mihriban's Visions

Mihriban

This girl is adorable, she reminds me so much of myself when I was about her age and I too lacked the ground under my feet.
It doesn't seem true to me how her situation has improved in a very short time, it was heartbreaking to see her completely apathetic and absent in the first moments when she arrived here, she was here for so long, it seemed impossible that she could climb back up the slope of the terrible depression that had sucked her completely out of reality, then something snapped in her.
In a very short time I saw her blossoming again, she was regaining weight and her hollowed out face was becoming fuller and rosier by the day, she was looking around with an attentive gaze and finally seemed to be present to herself.

She turned out to be a delightful creature, deep in feelings and kind to everyone, she is becoming a point of reference also for the other guests who all love her unconditionally.
I met her mother and sister, they were really anxious for her in the darkest moment but now fortunately we can all breathe a sigh of relief at her evident improvement.

She asked me to bring her a notebook, she doesn't want to ask her mother or sister, she doesn't want them to know that she wants to write, they are definitely suffocating her, they don't give her a break, they are afraid that anything could make her sad or upset.
They believe that even writing can jeopardize her recovery by leading her to think about the negative situations of the past that led her there, but for her, writing represents an outlet, she confides to me, with writing she is able to put order in her thoughts, she is able to express the deepest feelings that sometimes suffocate her.
Since I brought her the diary she seems to have improved even more, she is more assertive and more cheerful, she told me about her love story opposed by the families and many around them, I feel so sorry for these guys, I think they really loved each other. She herself is aware that he loved her but she blames herself for making so many mistakes and losing his trust, poor dear it's heartbreaking to hear her talk like that.

I put my hand on her shoulder and try to reassure her.
-Unfortunately you're much better, you've found the strength to react, you'll see that soon you'll be fine and can go home.

- I have no desire to go home, everything there speaks of him, he's everywhere, even in my room where the giant poster with the albatrosses is there just to remind me that he flew away from me.
My mother will give me a hard time, just thinking about going back to the neighborhood makes me lose my breath. This garden for example, makes me feel good, now that I can see and feel my surroundings, this place calms me down, helps me breathe and then... can I tell you a secret? I see him every now and then here, this has helped me come back to reality, I have had beautiful visions of him, my Can is so handsome  Mihriban. He's very tall and muscular, definitely imposing, he has long hair that  always keeps tied in a tight tail and a face that now that he's tanned is even more beautiful! When he opens up in his wonderful smile it creates dimples right here, I die for those dimples!

Well every now and then I see him here, don't tell the doctors but I see him at night too, he comes and talks to me, holds my hand, strokes my hair. It's so vivid his image, his presence is so real, I feel like I can touch him, I can smell his perfume, his deep voice gives me chills. I think it's these visions that have brought me back, in my dreams he asks me to come back to him and I love him too much not to give in to his request, even if it's unreal -

It makes my heart tighten to hear her talk like that, poor girl, her despair must have really reached the deepest depths, fortunately even if illusory, these hallucinations are helping her to return to the surface, to reality. I accompany her to her room with the agreement that I will return the next day with a new notebook, she tells me that she has already finished the first one. I am truly happy that she is able to find in writing an outlet that helps her in her healing process.

The next day, as I walk through the main gate to the central garden, passing by the construction site I hear a call - Can! -
I turn to the voice who called curious about the coincidence of the name and for a moment I fear I am hallucinating too, a man has stopped at the call of the name Can, he is tall, muscular, has long hair tied back and talking to the man who called him he smiles, his tanned face is spectacularly beautiful.

Ah Mihriban, what's wrong with you? I shake my head to clear my head but the apparition is still there, in fact it's moving, moving towards the garden where I'm headed.

I instinctively follow it without losing sight of it, fearful that my vision will disappear once I turn the corner, but it doesn't disappear. In fact, my beautiful and impressive vision has stopped near the trunk of a tree and seems to be waiting for someone, I stop at a safe distance not to be noticed.

After about ten minutes Sanem comes out into the garden, he has the diary in his hand and heads towards his bench looking around hopefully, I see the man / ghost retreat behind the trunk, as if afraid of being seen.

My breathing stops, I bring my hands to my mouth to suppress an exclamation of surprise, Oh Allah, Sanem is not having visions at all that man, his Can, is really here.

I can't believe it, I have to figure out what he intends to do, I have to keep an eye on him.

I turn back towards the entrance and walk down the driveway opposite to the one he is in, to go and sit next to Sanem.

I make a huge effort not to look at him, but for the moment it's good that he doesn't know he's been discovered, I need to understand what he intends to do.