Autumn

1) Me and Megan Fox

I Can't Handle Change-ROAR

most nights are tough. she lays there in darkness. overwhelmed by things she wished she didn't think about."

-r.h. Sin

*****
I fucking hate life.

I hate it, hate it, hate it

I have school tomorrow and of course my body won't let me get some shut eye. It didn't matter how much melatonin gummies I took or tea I drank, it's still one of those nights.

The nights where thoughts scatter my brain until it feels like its bleeding .

The nights where I really don't want to be here.

But then the next morning, I wake up, and think woopdi-fucking-doo that I get to go through it  again. I just get to do it later.

Then wanna know what I do....I move on with my day, very anticlimactic I know.

I slap a smile on my face and push it down so others don't have to worry. Because if people know, that's more questions, and answering questions is just more tiring than pretending.

I act around most people.

They all think I have nothing going on in my life, that I'm just the epitome of happiness.

They couldn't be farther from the truth. I have no reason to be upset with them though.

Why would I make someone worry about me, when I can put on a fake smile and make them happy?

Is this a healthy thing to live by, bottling up my emotions? No, but everyone else already has their own shit to deal with, why add mine to their list?

Oh yeah, I forgot to add, queue overly peppy, sarcastic voice-

Oh my gosh! I almost forgot to mention my amazing parents, they thought it would be just a fantabulous idea to uproot my whole life from a town I've been living for the past three years. And get this it's so we could be closer to my dad's new job, all the way across the country.

And scene, thank you, thank you, oh stop I don't need all these bouquets. Signing a movie deal with Megan Fox, of course I will!

Anyway fast-forwarding on from my Grammy winning performance, it just so happens we're moving during my senior year.

Obviously I'm upset, but it's not like I had people I considered to be close, close friends at my old school. But I still had the places I loved, like the library that was almost always empty.

I even became good friends with the sweet old librarian too, who ended up being a better mother figure than my mother is.

Even the bakery, that most kids would go to afterschool, how will I ever find chocolate muffins as good as theirs?

I'll miss Ms. Estrella's sarcastic comments to kids who come to her shop to complain about school.

Her responses always centered around dropping out, and helping her out at her store. It's an odd  way to recruit, but I guess if someone actually did it she'd have another worker.

No one ever did it though because she'd always follow up with saying she whack them with a spatula if they dropped out and didn't have a job or at least a way to make money.

Hearing the little bell chime whenever someone walks in.

The fresh smell of butter and bread coming from the back ovens.