I've got you babe - Jennifer and Justin (Justifer)

Too much pressure

3 months later

Jen was spending the afternoon at Court's for Lisa's birthday. The girls had been catching up and all the kids were playing in the garden.

"So Jen anymore kids on the horizon for you?" one of Court and Lisa's mutual friends asked.

Court and the girls froze hearing the question that was so close to Jen's heart. They all looked at each other shifting awkwardly as Jen stared at her hands in her lap. Court knew a million thoughts were going through her head right now as this woman she'd never met asked her such a personal question.. it was almost as though she was being interviewed. She felt awful for her as Court knew only too well how difficult a question like that is to a woman struggling.

After what seemed like hours but was only mere seconds, Court interrupted "Lisa why don't we open your presents now" she hinted across to Lisa winking.

"Um..yeah.. come on everyone.. into the living room" Lisa picked up on the atmosphere and enticed everyone inside.

Court held back slightly as everyone moved, noticing Jen still staring into space. She moved closer and stroked her shoulder "We'll talk later" Court reassured her, seeing the uneasiness in her eyes.

Jen looked up and smiled softly at Court, quietly thanking her for stepping in and knowing she'd want to talk to someone.

After all the girls left, Court and Jen were sat in the garden watching Rosie and Coco play.

"So what's going on? Normally you'd handle that situation by laughing it off... but I saw fear and heartache in your face when she asked you" Court spoke calmly.

"6 months.. if not longer that we've not being using anything. I know we said we weren't actively trying but surely something should have happened by now" she answered, not really sure of where she was going with it.

"I thought you didn't mind if it never happened"

"..I didn't.. I don't... but I guess after it being this long and nothing happening I kinda feel like maybe I have been waiting for it too happen" she paused and Court waited for her to continue "We both had the same views.. if it happened it happened and how amazing but if it didn't it didn't matter cause we've got a gorgeous little girl to be thankful for."

"Have you spoke about it together since then?"

She shook her head "I feel like I'm letting him down Court" she looked from Rosie and down at her hands in her lap "I know he's happy with Rosie... but I know he would love another baby. I see it in his face when we're around the kids.. I sense it. But what if I can't have anymore and I push him away cause I can't give him what he wants" she spoke quietly, finally letting her thoughts out knowing Court had been through a similar situation and understood her every thought.

"You're not letting him down. He wouldn't walk away over this.. he's not like that. He worships you"

"..I know"

"And it might not even be you that's the issue. It could be him. You need to talk to each other cause if you both do really want this.. you could get help.. get checked.. see your options" Jen looked at Court as if pondering what she said.

"I think the very fact you're feeling disappointed is a big sign that you want it to happen"

"...I guess. I thought I was fine with it if it never happened but I can't help but wonder what if.. or why it's not happened yet"

"I know honey.. it's normal to feel like that. You're allowed to have these thoughts. We all know how grateful you are for Rosie but you're also allowed to consider more children. That's okay"