I've got you babe - Jennifer and Justin (Justifer)

Let you down

A few days later Jen and Justin had been for tests at a fertility clinic.

They were sat in the doctors office awaiting their results. They hadn't spoke about the possibilities much but they understood each other were both curious why it hadn't happened and were willing to get advice.

They never knew they would actually go ahead with another baby but the older Rosie got, the more they would love to go through it again and create another version of themselves.

"You okay" Justin reached over to hold Jen's hand waiting for the doctor to arrive.

She turned to face him and nodded slowly giving him a smile. He was surprised how well she'd handled the last few days. She'd been very strong and positive that everything was okay. He knew she had the ability to hide her feelings so he took it lightly and was careful what he said around her.

The doctor entered greeting them and went through the results of the tests.

"Jennifer your results revealed no underlying condition that we could find" she sighed quietly after convincing herself there was something wrong.

"However there are factors to consider, as you know due to your previous miscarriage things can constantly change but that doesn't mean you can't get pregnant"

"What about me?" Justin asked curious. The doctor paused and took a deep breath.

Jen and Justin looked at each other briefly knowing that didn't look promising.

"Justin.. it turns out you've actually got a low sperm count. I don't want you to worry because obviously you have a child already so it can happen"

Justin couldn't speak and Jen saw how his face dropped. She squeezed his hand to reassure him.

"There are natural things you can do to try to help.. I'll give you a leaflet with some lifestyle changes you might like to try"

"So the reason she can't get pregnant is me" he spoke quietly. Jen could hear the pain in his voice and it broke her heart.

"That is one factor but it doesn't mean it's not going to happen. It is actually normal for some couples to take a few months if not longer, to get pregnant."

"See honey.. it could happen" Jen tried to comfort him but he continued looking at the floor.

"I want you both to understand that although these results may sound quite daunting at first.. it's not a reason to give up. My advice would be to continue as you have been, maybe avoid alcohol, keep fit and healthy as you do.. and if in a few months to a year nothing has happened then I would look at other possibilities"

"Thank you doctor" they said their goodbyes and headed home.

Justin was noticeably quiet on the way home and Jen let him. She knew he would be feeling as though it was his fault but she didn't want to blame him.

"DADDDYY" Rosie jumped into Justin's arms as they entered the living room.

He smiled slightly and kissed her "Hi princess"

Jen couldn't help but feel disheartened by him. All the worry she'd put herself through is now what he was feeling so she knew to let him deal with it and he'd talk when he was ready.

"Hi baby" Jen kissed Rosie in his arms and continued to the couch where Court was sat.

"Everything okay?" she asked quietly noticing Jen and Justin's silence between each other.

They looked over at Rosie showing Justin a fort she'd made out of her teddies and blankets. His mind was absent as he unenthusiastically played with her.