𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐓 𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐓 | hyunsung ✔

12

it was another extremely dull day without jisung, everything felt like a drag. it wasn't his fault though, he needed to go to school.

and hyunjin, well, let's just say that he wasn't ready yet. especially everything that's been going on in his life. he knew jisung couldn't possibly stay at home with him all day could he? hyunjin knew that.

but even so, how does everything feel so disconnected from him? from the moment jisung stepped foot out of the house, hyunjin didn't think this familiar feeling would come back to him.

the feeling of detachment and loneliness.

has this always been his everyday life? from the very beginning of his abusive parents to everyone leaving him to him being disowned and thrown out of the streets - starving to death.

hyunjin's always felt like he was just broken and unwanted, as if nobody wanted him. it was true after all, considering how he was just ripped up into pieces almost like he was nothing.

it was never gonna end was it? it was just an endless cycle to him. nobody truly wanted or loved him, they were eventually gonna leave him anyways.

and it's high likely jisung would do the same. why does he even care anyways? he probably feels sorry for him, that's probably why he was being so nice to him. out of nothing but pity.

but even so, why did he find himself slowly absorbing jisung's care and kindness to him? was it because it felt genuine? or was it because he'd never had someone take care of him like he does.

maybe it would change this time? maybe it would be different? 

no matter how much hyunjin wanted it to be true, the slight thoughts of jisung possibly lying to him frightened him. he was just so afraid, to trust him. or trust anyone in general.

he was so terrified, that opening up one last time would only end up hurting him again. hyunjin didn't want that, he didn't want to end up being hurt over and over again.

even though his heart was no longer there with him, hyunjin wanted to keep believing. though that would never happen, he might as well give up.

no one even wanted him. or cared for him. or most importantly, loved him.

he was just alone, in this harsh and unloving world. 

pulling the pillow closer to his chest, hyunjin wrapped himself into a ball. when was jisung gonna come back? he felt like he was suffocating, like he was drowning.

why was no one saving him? why does everything feel such a drag to him? with every second slowly passing, the moment hyunjin couldn't take it any longer.

and before he knew it, he found himself yearning for jisung's presence. he didn't know why but he was so desperate for the younger. as if he needed someone to grab onto his arms and pull him out.

was it gonna be jisung? or was he just gonna keep endlessly falling even deeper into the depths of the water? with no hope, or nothing for him to keep holding on.

he was falling...

he was suffocating...

he needed help...

was this it? was it all over for him?

before he could process anything, the surroundings around him eventually darkened.

.

"you useless bitch!" the man yelled, whipping his belt out. hyunjin cowardly wrapped himself into a ball in the corner, nothing but fear filling his eyes. "why are you even alive?! you shouldn't have existed!"