𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐓 𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐓 | hyunsung ✔

26

after having a long, serious conversation with hyunjin, it was hard to pinpoint how jisung feels. despite being over the moon that the taller was finally talking to him again, there was nothing that could describe how worried yet unsure it made him feel.

would it really be okay for him to live on his own? is he really ready? to be out in the outside world, alone, when something could happen to him? jisung couldn't help but question it, he just wanted to make sure he is safe.

safe from danger and the toxic people that could trigger his past again. after all, he knows how traumatising and difficult it was for him. is he fully healed yet? or does he still need more time before he's ready to be out?

jisung didn't really know the answer to his rhetorical questions, he just didn't want to make a mistake of letting him out by himself. but then again, it's not really his choice; this is hyunjin's life with his own feelings and decisions.

he could tell how determined and desperate hyunjin was to live independently, he could tell how much he wanted to repay him back. of course, he didn't wanna argue with him or stop him, it's all up to the older.

the least he wanted to be was to get in his way, he wanted to support him for everything he does. but at the same time, he couldn't help but doubt the risk and consequences that could happen. in short words, he was afraid.

of what might happen to hyunjin. he didn't wanna lose him, or something bad to happen to him. but what can he do? it's not in his power to change his mind or go against him, how can he oppose someone whose determination is to the brim?

no, he couldn't. he didn't wanna cause an argument, and he didn't wanna damage their relationship. just when hyunjin is starting to talk to him normally again, he couldn't dare.

he'd at least hope nothing goes wrong.

"hyung?" jisung quietly called out as he walked out of his room, realising that the light to the living room was still on. there he met hyunjin's eyes, who turned around to face him. "what are you doing? it's past midnight. are you not sleepy?"

"n-no... i couldn't sleep..." hyunjin softly mumbled back, watching as jisung just sat besides him.

"want to sleep in my bed with me?" the younger asked him, a gentle smile on his face. "i know that you can't sleep when i'm not there."

hyunjin only shook his head, still cautious about his own feelings for jisung. now that he was no longer avoiding jisung like before, he still wanted to be careful about not falling even deeper for him - he wanted to draw a line at least.

"i-i'm okay... i can sleep here by myself..." he finally answered.

it wasn't a lie that jisung was slightly shocked and taken aback by his answer, but still didn't seem to make it obvious. instead, he only smiled. "oh okay, just remember that you can come to my room if you want, i'll always welcome you."

the older nodded silently. there was silence for a moment, no words exchanged between them; that was when jisung decided to be the one who would break the silence. "say hyung," he suddenly called from nowhere.

this drew attention to hyunjin, only shifting his head to gaze at his side profile. "is there, perhaps something bothering you?" jisung asked, only continuing afterwards. "i don't know, it just feels like something's off." he lightly chuckled.

a certain person popped up in hyunjin's head the moment he said that, causing him to pause for a moment. changbin. should he just tell jisung about it? a small part of himself wanted to but, at the same time words couldn't come out of his mouth.

why was he hesitating so much? just what does he want from jisung? love? comfort? happiness? friendship? hyunjin didn't know but he didn't wanna lose him, neither did he wanna give him up to someone else.