Cycle

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The saddest days are the days before DC returns to Washington.

"This will never come out." DC will mutter a couple of days before, tugging at his hair which had been dyed on the sides, leaving black on top. California and New York will remember how much fun they had dying it with him and look on sadly as DC reads the directions on how to get it out, the next day returning to his normal hair color.

The earrings will come out, the make-up will stop, DC will be back to being the fed.

Louisiana always points out it's temporary, and once DC comes back he'll want to jump into his favorite things again, pushing the boundaries of gender and finally being who he is. Still sometimes at night, Louisiana will glance over and see all of DC's make-up untouched after a couple of days, and grow sad knowing he was in the process of hiding who he was.

Sometimes all they want to do is beg DC to go back to Washington as who he is, but DC will shoot them down everytime.

"My office is right down the hall from Lauren and MTG, not to mention those other Repubs." DC points out over dinner. "If they caught wind of this, I'd never know peace."

Still it's hard on days when the main five can tell DC's dysphoria is bad, how his brain is screaming at him for forcing himself in a box. When it's clear when he has to appear for press conferences or recorded Senate/Congress sessions with IDC and Gov how uncomfortable he looks. California can watch and see how it's a struggle for DC not to snap the new fidget bracelet he bought him off his wrist, and just wish just wish he could be there to comfort him.

Its phone calls home when DC is upset after passing a 'science says there's two genders' sign, or hearing attack copter or 'I identify as a panda' jokes, wondering and crying that he's faking it.

The tearful calls about how he tried convincing some politician to dump an anti-trans bill or stop bothering gender non-confirming kids, hiccuping 'why can't they just leave them alone?'

It's the ever-looming threat that Confederation will show up one day in DC's office and catch him acting different.

The scariest are the days the main five don't hear from him at all.

When DC comes home, he's rejuvenated and happy, like a great weight is taken off his shoulders. DC will unpack all his stuff and spend a long time playing with his hair in the mirror.

"I'm thinking purple." DC will announce with a smile, signifying he is back. He'd probably spend a few hours cuddling with a couple boyfriends, looking through Instagram then having a new make-up look for dinner.

The cycle always repeats. 

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