(This is California's account)
The 24 hour Walmart down the road from the Statehouse
-Found him in the TV aisle staring at a screen saver of an ocean
-The employees thought he was stoned
-He hadn't moved for thirty minutes
-Florida stole a bunch of candy when we were leaving
8/10, the employees were nice
The Compound
-Seriously why does he keep coming back here
-Texas nearly sideswiped him with a gun (something about zombies idk)
-We got lost getting out of there thanks to Florida's 'directions'
-Dee why can't you sleep
-100000/10, I hate that place so much
In the front yard
-I mean....it wasn't far
-Kept saying something about avocados
-He actually fought us to go back inside, Louisiana had to carry him
-I'm putting melatonin in his coffee
10/10, he makes a good yard ornament
Back in Washington
-This was scary
-No one knows how he got there
-IDC says he just....appeared in his office
-Drank a bunch of coffee and then passed out
-10000000/10, Dee.....
The Taco Bell parking lot
-The employees said he actually ordered something
-He had eaten three tacos before we got there
-The stoner kids were having fun with him until New York scared them off
-Felt sick for days after
0.5/10, Not worth the tacos
Standing at the coffee machine just letting the coffee overflow
-Kinda funny
-Utah is pissed that the floor was stained
-DC tried to drink an empty mug
-CDC thinks he's doing something called microsleeps
6/10, Utah won't stop yelling
Laughing during meetings
-This was...creepy
-He just....started laughing
-He's been up seventy-two hours
-He's shooting for another day
-1/10
Getting melatonin forced on him
-This wasn't a choice
-Louisiana came home, popped the cap, and yelled 'where the fuck is darlin'
-He's asleep now
-He's probably gonna be asleep for days
10/10, but we can't stop the next time this happens*
*To all commentators asking why he does this, DC's father trained him to be a robot and ignore all human functions. This is a result of that.
