Su Leona

Tres.

Ella's P.O.V.

"No."- I almost whispered, my eyes snapping open. 

I sat up in an instant, trembling. My heart is racing, wet trails from tears are on my cheeks. I wiped them away and pulled my knees to my chest, hiding my face. 

Nightmares. Every single night without fail I wake up like this, shaking like a leaf, scared out of my mind, uncomfortable, exhausted, empty and drained of every piece of courage that I keep mastering up with indescribable struggle. Slapping, shouting, yelling, harsh treatment and words of all kids - that's what horrifies me and keeps me up at night on regular basis. Not even 1 night has ever gone peacefully.

I took a few deep breaths, trying to calm down, and glanced at the window, seeing dark night sky with the moon and stars illuminating it. I looked around the room, feeling too many emotions that I shouldn't feel when I realised that Gabriel is gone.

It shouldn't matter to me. He has his own life. But my heart wants him: the comfort of his touch, the tenderness of his gaze, the tranquility of his spicy fragrance, the warmth of his smile, the honestly of his words, the nice sensations at the sound of his coarse and fruity voice, the genuine and truly precious care. 

I shouldn't want him. I shouldn't seek him. I shouldn't crave him. I shouldn't care about him. I shouldn't think about him. 

But I cannot help it. The words he said yesterday, what he did for me mere hours ago, how he did all of that and for what reasons - all of it makes me feel and remember so many things. The worried, scared of my doings, genuinely caring and warm look in Egyptian blue eyes makes me want to really try, to work on myself, to give all of those things another try. He makes me feel better and want to be better.

Heavy sigh escaped from me as my hand ran through my hair. When my eyes landed on my nightstand, I saw a piece of paper on it. My hand reached for it and I read it, feeling my heart skip a beat.

"I will be here at 8 o'clock, princesa, and we will start the day together. 

Do try to eat something when you wake up, please. 

I hope you wake up feeling better. Text me when you are up and how you feel. 

Yours, Gabriel. 

p.s. 

You are exceedingly adorable when you are asleep, bellezza."

I couldn't help my tiny smile at the last sentence. He is one of a kind. I set the note on my nightstand and got up, heading to the bathroom. 

I brushed my teeth and washed my face before brushing my hair and tying it in a high ponytail. I went to my closet and wore workout clothes - white leggings with matching sport bra, adding suitable sneakers. 

After that I went to the gym and slowly warmed up before going up the stairs for 20 minutes. Jump rope followed. I steadily moved onto different exercises, working on my bum more. Only after 2 hours I was done, finishing up with 10 minutes stretching routine. 

I went upstairs to my room, entering the bathroom. I stripped and took long, hot, exfoliating shower: scrubbing my skin until its red and hurts, desperately attempting to wash away fears and horrors. I applied oil on my skin, soothing down the ache, and washed my hair before tying big towel around my body and gently towel-drying my long, brown hair.