Long Time No See • Natasha Romanoff

Part 9: Enyo

TW: Mention of self harm and suicide.

Anya woke up in a hospital. Her head was screaming and she had a huge headache.

She opened her eyes to a bright white light. She hated hospitals. She thought that they where smelly and depressing.

Once her eyes adjusted to the light she looked to her left to see a beautiful redhead. She had her hand slipped into hers. She was sleeping in a chair next to the bed.

"Hey baby." Natasha's head snapped up. She could have given herself whiplash she moved so fast.

"Hey how did you feel? Are you ok? Do you want some water?" She avalanched her with questions. She was only concerned for her girlfriends well-being.

Anya smiled at the protection of her. "I'm fine, what happened?" Nat's face lowered. She was clearly blaming herself for what happened.

"You don't remember?" She panicked not knowing how much she had forgotten.

"The last thing I saw was a bomb going off and I hit my head. I heard you scream. Are you ok?" The panic turned to Anya, who was now worried for the health of the woman.

"Yeah I'm fine. Your not though."

"Wait what?" She was again nervous about what had happened to her.

"You have a concussion. You split you head and had to have stitches." They were both sad when she told her this. Anya knew that a concussion was a bad thing and she would be out of combat for a while. Then it kicked in.

"Wait you let them touch me?!" She was so scared of people touching her. Natasha didn't know why until it came to patching her up. They had to change her out of her suit. They saw all the scars. The medics where amazed at how many scars the woman had. The ones that were most concerning where the long, identical, marks running up both her arms.
It looked like she had tried to take her own life.
"How could you do that! You know I don't like people touching me!" She was angry at Natasha and she had every right to be.

Natasha wasn't affected by her shouting and remained calm. "They had to Anya. We had to get you out of the suit. You was shaking."

"That doesn't give you the right to see my body!" She was getting really angered that Natasha made that call, even though she knew deep down it was the right thing to do. "Wait, did they touch my head?!" She still raised her voice at the redhead, who was beginning to become angry.

"Of course they did Anya! You were bleeding! There was a huge gash on your head!" Her voiced matched that of Anya's.

Anya stood up and stumbled over to the mirror. What she saw, she didn't like. At all.
"They shaved some of my hair?" She was more sad than anything right now. She was sad her head looked so stupid. But most importantly, she was sad that she felt betrayed by the person she was the closest to in the world.

Natasha didn't reply. She didn't need to, Anya had all the information she needed.

"Get out." She demanded to be left alone. She wasn't angry or mad. She was just alone. Her heart felt cold.

"What?" Her partner replied. Hurt but what she had just asked of her.

"Get out." Her voice was cold. She didn't care that she was her girlfriend. She wanted to be alone. "I want to be alone." Nat was so hurt by this. She knew that she was the one that caused her to be this way and it hurt to her core. She left the room and respected her wishes.

Once she had left, it was just Anya. She stood in front of the mirror. She rolled up her sleeves  to see the marks that she had inflicted on herself. She hated her body. She might have been attractive to most men or women, but to her she was hideous. She began crying, thinking back to the time she made that decision. She knew that there was almost no turning back. And she made those cuts with the intentions of never coming back.