Long Time No See • Natasha Romanoff

Part 21: ID

"No! That's not why I don't want children! Your talking bollocks!" Anya was getting frustrated at the therapist. They were disagreeing over the reasons as to why some of her actions are linked to her traumatic experiences as an infant.

Mr. Davis theorised that Anya didn't want to be a mother because of the fear that she would not be there for her. Anya believed that she wasn't ready for such a responsibility, which is odd because she is one of Earths hero's and protectors, billions of people depended on her.

"I think that's just what you tell yourself, or what you tell others because the real reason is because you are scared." Davis had a low voice, it was smooth and each words were pronounced very well, he had good manners and didn't get angry at Anya because he knew she would fight fire with fire, but wouldn't fight at all if there was no fire.

"Of course I'm fucking scared! It terrifies me! I can't even tell the love of my life I want to marry her, for gods sake." Mr Davis was aware that Anya wanted to marry Natasha because they shared everything because there was some like contract she had to sign that meant he couldn't share her information with other people.

"Ok, this is good. Why do you find it hard to propose?" Davis asked. He didn't even acknowledge her swearing or shouting, which made her slightly more angry because she deserved it, she knew she had no right to peak to him like that. 

"What reason do you want? I'm an Avenger first of all, what if my job compromises a child or a wife? I'm lesbian, secondly, what will everyone else think? What will the team say? What if I'm not cut out to be a mum? Who says I'll be good?" She fired all of these questions at him and he just looked at her with a smile. "Why the fuck are you smiling?!" She yelled at the man who just sat there crossed legged in his old man chair. He didn't change his expression, he simply laughed.

"You don't even know your doing it." Anya was literally listing all of the things that she feared and she was unaware she was even doing it. 

She was shocked. Shocked at herself that she opened up just like that. She didn't even do that to herself, to Natasha, to anyone and she just spat it out like it was the time of day.

"Yeah that's all nice and pretty but what the hell do I do to have the courage to do those things?" She asked the man who looked like he was on cloud nine. He was pleased with the process that the Greek made whilst with him. At the beginning of their relationship she would hardly speak to the man and definitely wouldn't have told him all of that.

"You just did. You told me. There's only two more people you need to tell." The man stated.

"No. I'm not telling Wanda and I'm definitely not telling Natasha about it." Anya and the girl had grown close after she joined the team. Anya helped her learn how to dance and draw. She also taught her how to get rid of her Sokovian accent, as it made her stand out, which was not a favourable trait as and assassin.

"Yes you are. And it will come. If not, there will be a time when she will ask you. Because no one waits forever."

"No that's not the point! I want to be able to do it I just can't. I protect the world for a living and the hardest thing to do is ask my girlfriend to marry me!" Why?!"

"I don't know Anya." He stated at the girl who was growing tired of not being able to do the things she wants because she's scared of change, and it was visibly angering her.

"I don't like change, and this changed a lot!" She was almost yelling, her voice was raised and she was frustrated at herself and she knew it was pathetic.