Need You (ShinDeku)

Ch. 25 - hug

A/N: unrelated to the story but omg this fanart is amazing.

Izuku POV

     Shinso glanced at me nervously.

     "Mom, that's not really something that we should discuss at the dinner table." He says, his voice serious. His parents don't seem to get it.

     "Aww, come on. Was it embarrassing or something? You never tell us anything, so you know we have to ask." Shinso looks guilty when she says that. His face screams I know. I remember him telling me when he was younger he was kind of distant with them.

     Desperate to diffuse the situation, I speak up.

     "Y-your son saved me, ma'am. It's the reason... I can't walk well right now. If he hadn't come I probably wouldn't be alive. I owe him my life." The whole table is silent.

     "Hitoshi, why didn't you tell us about this?" His father doesn't seem mad, just shocked.

     "I wasn't allowed to." He mumbled.

     "What do you mean?" His mom asked.

     "Remember I told you I was working with the hero course's homeroom teacher after school? He got called in for a case and he wanted me to intern under him for it, but I wasn't allowed to talk about it."

     "Aww, Hitoshi I'm so proud of you. Do you think you're going to get into the hero course?"

     "I'm in it right now but it's only temporary at the moment." He mumbles.

     The table seemingly exploded with excitement from the two adults. Their loud outburst caused me to jump a little, and Shinso was trying to get them to calm down, explaining that it wasn't permanent, but they didn't seem to care.

     Once they finally settled down and served themselves food his father spoke again.

     "So, Midoriya, tell us about yourself."

     "Oh, me? I-I'm not very interesting."

     "Sure you are! You look like you're the same age as Hitoshi, do you go to school with him?"

     "Yeah, I'm, uh, I'm in the hero course."

     "You too? That's great! But tell me, how did my son end up having to save a hero course student?" He asks, laughing.

     I look down. I should have been able to get out myself. I shouldn't have needed someone to save me. What good is a hero who can't save themselves? I depend too much on the quirk given to me.

     "Dad, that's enough." Shinso says, looking at his father.

     "What? I was just trying to be funny."

     I should have done better. I need to catch up to my classmates so I won't have to depend on them again.

     "You okay Midoriya?" Shinso asks, and I'm broken away from my thoughts.

     "Yeah, sorry. I didn't mean to bring the mood down."

     Most of the rest of dinner is spent in silence, and his mom seems to have something to say about how little food I ate but she stays quiet, only insisting later on that we bring a few containers of leftovers back with us just in case we get hungry later tonight.

     They say goodbye to us as Shinso helps me get situated back in the wheelchair, telling him to come back soon. I thank them for the food and we leave.

     Shinso hands me the headphones again and I take them gratefully, not speaking until we get back.

     "I am so sorry about them." He says as he closes the door to his dorm, sighing into his hands. "I knew this would happen."

     Why the heck is he apologizing?

     "No, your parents were great, a-and the food too. I just made everything awkward... now you're annoyed with your parents and it's my fault. I'm so sorry." I sniffle as tears start dripping down my face.

     "Don't blame yourself. You were in a horrible situation and it's not really something people talk about to their friends parents like three days after it happened. And of course my parents are super nosy so this was bound to happen. Plus you know I'm not on the best of terms with them, we're working on it but it would have been like that whether you visited or not." I can't help but notice that he refers to me as a friend even now when he's not talking to his parents.

     My crying doesn't ease up and he sits on his desk chair across from me.

     "What's wrong? I know this isn't just about an awkward dinner."

     "I-I dunno. I don't know why I'm crying. I just- you still have your parents but- It's not happy and I couldn't help- and I don't- my moms gone, but-" I don't know what I'm saying anymore and my thoughts are everywhere so I just stop, covering my face with my hands.

     "I'm sorry, I don't know w-what I'm saying." I get out between hiccups and sobs. "I'm so sorry."

     I don't know how long Shinso has been holding me but it feels safe and he smells like his shampoo which is comforting. At some point I pull away reluctantly. I don't want to seem clingy. I wish I could just stay in his arms all night.

     "Remember when I was in the hospital and the doctor came in and you used your quirk to help me calm down?" Shinso visibly cringes at that.

     "I shouldn't have used it without your permission, after you trusted me enough to talk to me. I swear I won't do it again."

     "Actually, I wanted to know if you would use it on me... I just don't want to have to think about everything right now and I feel like I'm about to cry again but I don't want to sleep yet because of the nightmares." He looks at me surprised as I start to tear up. What an idiot! He's obviously self conscious about his quirk, I shouldn't force him to use it.

     "Sorry I shouldn't have asked it was a bad idea-"

     "No, it's fine as long as you're sure you're comfortable with it." He smiles reassuringly.

     I nod, almost aggressively. "I don't care. You don't ever need to ask, I trust you." I trust you more than anyone else in the world. He looks at me with a questioning gaze.

     "Are you absolutely sure?"

     "Ye-" I feel as my control over my body fades away and whatever I was about to say is forgotten. Everything is hazy, until Shinso's voice cuts through.

     "Relax your body and take a deep breath." I feel myself listening to his command automatically, my body doing as told. "Good, now answer me truthfully. What can I do to make you feel better?"

     The words tumble out of my mouth and I'm only half aware of them, not being able to stop them anyways.

     "Make me forget all of it." Its silent for a long time, and when the words register in my head I feel almost mortified, but it's hard to feel anything under his hold on my head.

     "I can't do that. Tell me what else would help."

     "Physical contact with you."

     "Like a hug?"

     "Yes."

     Not many thoughts are running through my head but I am acutely aware of Shinso's arms wrapping around me protectively and my head on his chest. I don't think I was in my wheelchair anymore, maybe the bed, but I'm not sure when that switch happened.

     "Just focus on this hug. Until I say so, nothing else matters. You don't care enough to think about anything else."

     Everything I may have been thinking about is lost and forgotten as my brain bends to his will, until all I know is this embrace and it's warmth.

1258 words.