Need You (ShinDeku)

Ch. 95 - Four

A/N: Uhhh, Bakugo is definitely bad at expressing himself I'm definitely not bad at explaining feelings through dialogue. Totally. Let's blame the character. Yeah. Real talk though this is what happens when I'm struggling to write a chapter and I'm trying to fix it, it just gets progressively longer.

Trigger warning: what was that quote? "Never trust how you feel about your life after 9pm"? Yeah, Bakugo should stick to his bedtime routine (maybe just this once it was a little needed, though). He's filled with a lot of self-hate in this chapter, and jealousy, guilt, + insecurity. Don't be like Bakugo, take care of yourself and go to bed at a reasonable time (please).
Have fun reading!

Midoriya POV

     He looks surprised to hear his nickname, turning to face me for just a moment before tilting his head away again. It's too late though, even in the dark I saw pink around his eyes, the area puffy and swollen. I realized the red of his irises seemed so bright because they were shining with tears, which he was clearly now trying to rub away with his sleeve. He had an old sweater on over his night clothes and he scrubbed his face against it with the back of his arm, and when he sniffled you could hear how stuffy his nose was. How long had he been crying? Why on earth was Kacchan crying anyways?

     "Just gettin' water." Even his voice was rough. He seemed regretful to come any closer to me, but had probably decided it would hurt his pride more if he left now. Instead he settled to completely ignore me, sniffing again and trudging over to grab his own glass.

     I watched him, feeling shocked and confused. Slowly, I lowered my hand that was holding my own glass, feeling silly about before. And cold. The water I had accidentally poured on myself was starting to seep into my shirt at my shoulder and I felt a chill run through me, goosebumps rising on my skin.

     He walked over, head lowered, standing in front of me. I was feeling more and more bewildered by the second.

     "Move." It sounded kind of pathetic, surprisingly, and carried none of its usual force. His voice broke like it was killing him to even face me right now. I felt like I was physically hurting him when I hadn't even said anything, let alone laid a hand on him. I took a moment to figure out what was going on before realizing I was blocking the sink.

     "S-sorry." I stumbled over myself to get out of his way, kicking my stick and nearly sloshing the remaining water in my cup out onto the floor.

     He didn't even say anything in response, and I was so confused. What is happening?

     "Kacchan? Are you alright?" I spoke to his back. I almost expected a usual response like 'do I look like I'm fuckin' fine?' Or 'mind your damn business' but instead I got a long moment of silence, and then a visual shaking of his shoulders, and a sob. He shut off the tap but wouldn't face me.

     With that kind of response I felt my fear return to me just a little bit. That's not Kacchan. But it was, there was no mistaking it, I knew him, perhaps better than even my own mother. Why would a fake Kacchan be crying in front of me?

     "I-I'll go-" I really want to get out of this conversation, and I find myself backing up towards the elevator with what's left of my water, but I'm interrupted.

     "I'm sorry," My eyes blow open wide at those quiet words. Okay, maybe it isn't Kacchan, just a really... really good replica. "It should have been me." He continues through shaky breaths but still fails to turn around.

     I'm still at a loss for what's going on, so I just stay where I am and keep quiet.

     Eventually he does turn to face me, but never raises his head enough to look me in the eye. "Why did they take you? It should have been me again." His shoulders heave, but it looks like he's going all he can to keep himself together.