Need You (ShinDeku)

Ch. 94 - Pillow

A/N: still not sure how I feel about switching POVs mid-chapter but I don't really plan ahead and just write what feels right. There was nothing more for Shinso to say but the chapter wasn't ready to be over yet. Does that make sense? Maybe it's just an excuse for my laziness and lack of planning.
Have fun reading!

Shinso POV

     Izuku seems spacey and tired when he gets back from his doctor's appointment, but still delightfully happy to see me.

     It feels like a weight has been lifted off my chest after my talk with Aizawa, but I thought about it while he was at his appointment and I still don't feel like I can just tell Izuku how I feel. Besides, as much as it sometimes hurts and I want to ask for more, I feel like I'm already getting more than I could ever ask for, being as close as I am with him.

     My talk with Aizawa has definitely eased some doubts though, and I find myself a little less worried about what I say to Izuku, a little more open with my words. I think I'm flirting? I mean, I've never done it before so I'm not really sure but it comes a little more naturally than I thought it would. I'm surprised to hear him fire back so easily, and I don't think he knows how his words are making me feel. I don't know what to do with myself when emotions I can't even name squeeze my heart and make my hands jittery.

     Some of whatever I'm feeling is dampened as I see the cloudy, faraway look in his eyes. I coax him to come sit and eat with me in what I know is his favorite spot in the room, and after I'm satisfied that he's eaten enough and done sipping on his miso, I let him get ready to go to bed early.

     I've spent enough time around him now that I think I'm starting to better understand his moods and habits. I know this Izuku, the sleepy but slightly embarrassed looking one, is the type that wants cuddles but is too embarrassed to ask. Or maybe if I hold out long enough he'll gather the courage to ask awkwardly, unable to meet my eyes. I'm not cruel enough to put him through that though.

     "Give me a second."

     I'm already dressed for bed, but I need to brush my teeth and wash my face so I quickly do that and come back out.

     He's standing awkwardly in the middle of the room, like he doesn't know what to do with himself. I grab a book I started a few weeks ago and couldn't bring myself to finish because Izuku was gone and I couldn't focus on it. Izuku eyes me but still doesn't do anything but shift on his feet. His walking stick is propped against the wall by the door and I'm sure he's itching to get off his feet.

     "Can you sleep with the lamp on?" He nods mutely and bites his lip. I turn all but the lamp by the bed off, and rearrange our pillows so I can be propped up a little.

     I get settled with my book and hold up the covers for him. "Your pillow is awaiting your presence." Those are not the words I had planned to say, but the way his face grows warm makes it worth it.

     "You don't actually have to let me sleep on you." His words are mumbled and I can tell he doesn't want to refuse the offer.

     "I told you you're comfortable. It's not like it's a sacrifice." His face grew even warmer at my words, and I was honestly getting worried.

     "Come here. You need rest and I need to read my book in comfort and peace." He practically scurried over at my words, a shy 'thank you' leaving him as I guided him to lay stomach down with his head just under my chest and the rest of his body between my legs.

     He laid one palm face down next to his head, and I tried hard not to contract my stomach muscles as his fingers rested against bare skin, and the warmth of his cheek radiated from where it pressed softly against me. Maybe I didn't think this through.