Fortuitous || Jack Steele [1]

thirteen

madelyn.king

Liked by @benking_, @jackbytel and 828 others
Missing you @benking_ ❤️

@benking_
Missing you too Little King💙💙
- @madelyn.king love you Benny🥺
- @benking_ love you too Mads x

@_jacklonie
Missing my partner in crime🥺
- @madelyn.king Lones, I'm lost
without you🥲
          - @_jacklonie awww🥺

@sebjross
Shortie
- @madelyn.king Blondie

Ten weeks of lockdown.

Ten weeks of dealing with my brother and Bytes.

Ten weeks of wanting to rip my hair from its roots.

There were many times where it all became too much. There were times where I missed Ben so much it just hurt like hell. To know I couldn't see him, that there was no prospect in seeing him, was what hurt the most. Being separated for so long took its toll.

There were many nights where I felt so out of it. Many nights I found myself mentally exhausted. I just didn't understand why this had to happen to us. Why now? Why at all? Those questions went through my head every night.

The days felt so long most of the time. Max and Bytes were almost always home apart from training with a teammate a few times a week. I went on my own jogs to keep myself fit and relatively happy, yet despite all that I still felt like I was drowning in my own sea of problems.

It was extremely hard. There were days I just cracked. I didn't cope well with being locked up at all. I tried to act fine but both the boys saw through the façade and immediately did their best to support me. The three of us spent a lot of nights in front of the TV watching movies and just trying to forget the virus locking us in.

A lot of tears were shed in frustration and loneliness.

How else are you supposed to react when it was the first time you've had to go through something like this?

I could tell my brother had times of major struggle. We could barely see our family and he couldn't see his twin at all. It had been so long for him since he saw Ben. It was another kick to the gut.

Bytes hit a few roadblocks as well. He missed his family a lot whilst locked down and he couldn't see them either. He needed a lot of TLC — we all did.

There was a lot of hurt and emotional pain during lockdown but there was still some good moments.

Max had almost set the kitchen on fire, Bytes got flour everywhere, including his face, and I almost broke my foot playing Just Dance. They were very chaotic times.