Madness Inside | 18+ M.R.

ℭ𝔥𝔞𝔭𝔱𝔢𝔯 49

𝑳𝒊𝒏𝒂

A cycle of despair and isolation.

I love him. He loves me. Why does my mind have endless thoughts about everyone else instead of trusting the one person who cares about me in an indescribable way?

Headaches, aching, and my throbbing mind that continues to play out different scenarios.

He loves me. But why do I continue to think about Draco? Casimir and Luca are the enemies, I had to repeat over and over again in order to understand it.

Both scenarios of them felt real.

The more I thought about it, the more I built up this animosity inside me that wanted nothing more than to hurt anyone who's hurt me.

In the deep temples of my mind I would dream about death, blood and revenge for taking away the one thing about myself that I was always sure of. My thoughts, and intellect that kept me sane and strong. It made me so sick I vomited each time I thought about it.

It frightened me these two days that passed that those were dreams.

Not nightmares.

My nightmares changed into the death of my own instead of the ones I love.

Theo got me excused from my classes yesterday since he wanted me to be sure before I saw Casimir, Luca and Draco again. I wasn't really sure if it was out of protection or fear that I will trust them more than him.

It was getting easier to hide my rage with time alone and the use of magic on objects instead of people. Although the thought to kill Astoria was tempting it will only break my cover of darkness that is building inside me.

I woke up earlier than Theo, I always did. He stayed up until he made sure I was sound asleep, which always took longer than expected and I would wake up prior and get ready before he woke and insisted I stay in my dorm while he would attend to breakfast and bring back a feast for us both to share.

But today was different. Today I was going back to classes and I'm going to face them. After all if I wanted to figure out how my mind was altered I needed to go to the one person who did it to me in the first place.

I had to speak with Casimir.

Theo would never agree, but it's not like I would ask him to begin with.

I showered, did my hair, makeup and changed into my robes. I could see the difference in my figure when I put on my skirt, the weight I lost from throwing up most of what I ate. To me I saw myself as unhealthy but to guys in this school I be seen as a good shape.

I missed myself.

"You look glorious darling stop staring at yourself like you're a distasteful human being" his raspy voice beaming through from having just woken up. He got up and revealed his scarred chest and defined body.

"I look horrific" I sighed.

"You've been sick, but that doesn't change the fact that you're still the most marvelous view to look at" I smiled.

Sick.

I've been sick and that's all. If only he knew I was sick of my own dreams. Whether it was my death caused by him, Draco, Casimir or even Bellatrix I hated seeing my own death. I used to want death to come but everything was different now.

"Do you have to attend classes today?" Theo asked.

"If I don't go now then I'll keep on waiting, I don't want to be in this dorm any longer" I narrowed my eyes at him while he was putting on his black dress shirt.