To The Moon and Back? (Rosé x Fem Reader)

Chapter Eighty-Three

Y/N's POV

You know when you just get the life ripped out of your body and soul? That's what this feels like. It was my dream school to get into because it was close by and had an amazing program for astronauts. Literally some of the most famous ones have graduated from there, but I guess I'm never going to be in that conversation with them.

I'm crying into Rosie's shirt, getting my snot and tears on it. I was holding onto her for dear life, she was my lifeline right now. I also felt my mom's hands rub my shoulders, trying to also calm me down. But it wasn't working, nothing would work in this moment.

I also started to feel tears on the back of my shirt from Rosie. I didn't want her to cry for me. I sat back and stared into her eyes, rubbing the tears off of her face,

"Don't cry Rosie, it's fine. It's fine." I said, trying to convince myself that it was fine, even though it was the furthest thing from fine. She shook her head at me,

"No, I'm going to cry all I want for you. It isn't fine so stop trying to convince yourself." She said with a firm tone. I hung my head down, tears falling again,

"You're right, it's not fine." I sobbed out. I saw her arms ready to reach around me, but I pushed her arms away gently. I looked into her eyes and there was hurt in them. But I wanted to be alone for some time; try and gather my thoughts.

"Rosie, I just want to be alone for a little and try to get my thoughts together." I told her. A single tear from her left eye escaped, making my heart break at her sadness.

"What if I just don't say anything? What if I–"

"Love, please. I still love you so much, but I want to try and think this through on my own, okay?" I cut her off. She looked down at my right hand and grabbed it with her left hand, our fingers soon intertwined. I felt a tear fall on the back of my hand and I couldn't help but let out a quiet sob.

"Okay, okay. But please, please, call me or text me or shout or something if you need me. I'll be there in a heartbeat," I smiled sadly at her. I cupped her cheek and she leaned into my touch.

"I love you Rosie." And I brought our lips together in a salty goodbye kiss for now. Both her hands went to my cheeks and held me close, as if this was a final goodbye for good. We both knew it wasn't, but it didn't make it any better.

I wanted to be alone and she wanted to be there for me.

I pulled back and saw her bloodshot eyes staring back at me. I lifted her left hand up and kissed the silver ring that rested on her pointer finger,

"I'm still here, don't worry. I'm not leaving you, I just want some time to myself." She nodded her head sadly,

"Okay, I love you so much y/n." I got up from the chair and turned to see my mom standing there, tears threatening to fall too. I smiled sadly at her and I made my way upstairs to my room where Im going to lock myself in for the next few hours.

Rosie's POV

When y/n disappeared from my sights, I didn't hold my emotions back anymore. I broke down and I felt Tiffany's arm wrap around me. I hugged her back and she whispered comforting words in my ears. She gently rubbed my back as I cried into her shoulder. Tiffany was able to bring me over to the couch as I just stayed curled up against her, sobbing quietly now. When my breathing steadied out, she spoke up,

"Roseanne, you know my daughter doesn't hate you right?" I nodded my head and lifted myself up and away from her so I could make eye contact with her. She gave me a sad smile and handed me a tissue,

"This is her way of coping with things. She wants to find her thoughts first and be alone after whatever happens; that's how she's always been. Even back when she was only 4 and her father passed away, she didn't want me near her after she found out. She locked herself in her room and sat there for a few hours, taking it in. I thought she didn't love me anymore after that, but she came out later and told me that she loves me. She's still dependent on herself when it comes to her emotions for the most part. She doesn't let people in when she's fighting her own emotions."