(OLD) Finding Him, bxb+

[Chapter 27]: The "Lettuce" Garden (1)

"So, now seems like a good time as any, since we're finally alone." Johann glanced at him, patiently.

Knowing what his friend was referring to, Kallie didn't try to avoid the situation. He gave a slight nod before visibly tilting his head to look beside the greenhouse a few feet away. Cedric stood there intently watering another plant, different from the tomatoes.

A comforting tap on Kallie's shoulder brought his attention back to the strawberry-blonde. Johann knowingly reassured his friend, gaze settled firmly upon the other. "Relax, he's likely not listening. He's too focused on the plants."

With a nod, Kallie stared at his friend permissively. Johann took hold of his hands, caressing them firmly before he began to talk. "Now, what was that about you crying yesterday?"

"I just..." Kallie stared at the small, yet steady hands rubbing his own. He raised his eyes to Johann's blue one, looking at him with conviction. "I kinda had a bad day yesterday."

"I see." Johann simply stated, understanding flashing in his eyes. Kallie loved that the man was always there to speak with him, so willing to listen to him. "Do you mind sharing? Or are you not sure?"

Kallie shook his head, taking a deep breath. With a comprehensive look, he nodded his head in a certain direction. The direction of the house, that is. "I don't mind. It's just that I... I-I got into an argument with some of the guys."

"Was it really bad?" Johann glanced in that direction with a disappointed gaze and Kallie knew it was meant for the guys. The strawberry blonde turned back to him though, a worried expression on his face now.

For a moment, Kallie felt overwhelmed. He wasn't ready to say the words at the tip of his tongue but he knew that speaking about it would help him get over it. It always did, when he talked with Johann. Nonetheless, he couldn't stop a frown from making its way to his lips. "They asked about him, Johann. They asked me about Jackson."

Johann stayed silent after hearing those words, maybe even a little surprised. Clear alarm but also some frustration could be seen in his eyes. "Have you been having nightmares about him again?"

"W-why do you think t-that?" Kallie stuttered out, growing wide eyed. He tried to pull his hands away from Johann but the other held on tight, though he made sure it didn't hurt.

"Then, how else would they know about him?" The strawberry blonde stared at him firmly, urging him. This involved his mental health after all, and who wouldn't be worried when they knew Kallie was dreaming of his toxic, abusive ex-boyfriend. And Johann definitely knew. He'd done it himself, once upon a time, though he's healed from that period of self doubt. Kallie clearly hadn't.

"No n-nightmares, not anymore!" Kallie exclaimed, louder than he needed to. A sharp stare from Johann made him clamp his mouth shut. He felt tears brimming his eyes already. Guiltily, he admitted the truth. "I haven't d-dreamt of him for a while now, but I still...think about h-him and I might've m-mentioned him..."

Kallie was suddenly pulled into a soft hug, Johann's arms firm around his chest. He almost let out a sob right then, but held it back. Johann whispered into his ear reassuringly. "That's okay, you know that's okay. I know it's hard to forget sometimes."

"It hasn't been that long since you left. You can take your time, as much time as you need." As his best friend, his family, continued to sooth him, Kallie could feel a hot tear sliding down his face, making contact with Johann's shoulder. He felt a tension release from his shoulders and he relaxed into Johann's hold completely.

"I know..." He sniffed, blinking away the next tears that threatened to fall. But blinking wasn't the most effective, not when it only made to drive the tears out instead of keeping them in. "It's j-just that, I've really thought about him. Like, I don't know, while I'm b-bathing or something..."