It's currently 12:00 am where I live. I'm crying so much.
I'm such a fool to think would come. I KNEW there was no way they'd want to come but yet I still hoped...
I'm stupid.
I shouldn't have tried inviting them, I ALREADY KNEW THE OUTCOME! But I still did it anyway.
It hurts so much. I really hoped I would be proven wrong.
I know it's their decision if they wanted to come or not but the rejection still hurt.
Especially when you invited someone who you like very deeply.
I'm so upset.
I always hated my birthdays anyway. They never turn out the way I want it to.
I never liked the idea of growing up, but here I am...
I'm so tired of this stupid cycle of feeling horrible every fucking birthday.
Birthdays are supposed to be something to make you happy but why not for me?
I don't have any real friends to share this moment with. I had a online friend who I care about alot but him and I aren't in contact anymore.
That's entirely my fault.. I stopped talking to him after all.
I just had to get my grades up again and as much as he made me so happy. I couldn't keep getting distracted
I'm miserable and I feel so guilty. I just want to talk to him again.
I want to spend time with him again.
I'm such a terrible person.
Why do I keep pushing away everyone that means so much to me? I don't mean to but I'm just so scared of messing things up and because of that I do end up messing up.
I hate my birthday. It was a mistake bringing me in this world.
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My Diary
RandomLike it says in the title, it's a diary. But people can read it. I thought this would be a funny idea and make my future self question my stupid entries. Despite being a diary, I won't be updating daily. ⚠️This is mostly venting, so there will be...