My Diary

Thursday, September 30, 2021

  I can't get rid of her! When I thought I did she just came back. What's even worse is tha she has a crush on me.

  Ok, so there is this girl who I'm going to call Jessica.

  I met her last year and since then we hung out together.
  I was pretty uncomfortable around her in the beginning but I stayed since I thought it was an overreaction, plus, I just met her.

  One day she came out to me and said she was bi and I thought since she came out to me then it'll be fine if I did the same.
  Mistake number 1.

  She has rejected the fact that I was actually bi then when she understood I wasn't lying she tried to hook me up with a girl that I don't know and lives in a different country.

  I said no and was clearly uncomfortable but she kept insisting. I was able to change the subject and moved on.

  One day she asked me if I had a crush on someone in the class. I said yes.

  She told me to tell her but I no. I told her she had to guess.

  She kept asking who it was and I just told them that their last name started with an "A".
  Mistake number 2.

  Sis looked like she was going to have a heart attack.

  These were her exact words "No way! *Dead name* you're going to kill me! There is no way! She's literally so ugly, mean, and will definitely will never be into you."

  That really hurt my feelings. After a month or so I lied and said I didn't like her anymore.

  What I hate about her is that she stops talking to me all of sudden and after like 1-2 weeks she starts talking to me again. She acts like nothing happened.

  Now let's fast foward to this year.

  Ever since we went back to school after several months learning through zoom she has avoided me for like a week and a half.

  She started to talk to me again and started spreading rumors about me. She made me avoid everyone and made most of my class go against me.

  Now, I recently I became friends with her childhood friend. She's so nice and really supportive. I'm going to call her Bonnie.
  I came out to her as trans and she fully accepted me. She used my preferred pronouns and my name.

  Since me and her have a lot in common, Jessica became jealous.
 
  She gets so angry when I decide to make a group with Bonnie instead of her.

  So, 2 days ago I also came out to her as trans to see if it's actually worth becoming her friend.
  Mistake number 3.

  She literally misgendered me not even 2 seconds after I told her.

  But forgave Jessica since I just told her.

  Plus I tried to explain what I just told her and chose to ignore me.

  She kept misgendering me. She doesn't even remember that I told her I was trans!

  She is such a peice of trash. Not even trash, she's the whole contaminated ocean. I don't know how to cut ties with her with out her throwing a tantrum.

  Today she tried forcing me to go do sports with her and if I don't join I'm a "bad friend".

  I can't 🤦‍♀️

  Oh! And about her having a crush on me. She kinda directly confessed to me.

  I don't have a problem with that. It flatters me that she sees something in me.
  But I don't think I'll ever be in a relationship with her. If I do, that relationship is going to be really toxic.

AND she already has a girlfriend which means that she would be cheating.

  I mean, it's not like she's not doing that already. I've seen her hit on so many women and men.