My Diary

Tuesday, November 16, 2021

I'm so tired of my mom's bullshit. She says she knows everything above me and that she always knows what I'm feeling.

The truth is she doesn't and she knows that.

She always makes me so uncomfortable and at this point I can't even keep my mouth shut. If something she does pisses me off, I almost always call say it.

When I was 9 I questioning out my sexuality. I was trying to figure myself out and learn about this new thing.
I was never taught this sort of thing so I had to find out myself which made my journey a lot harder.

Then that's when my mom got so obsessed with trying to figure out my sexuality. Ever since that day she found something in my gallery that said "I'm gay" she won't stop bugging me about it.

She says she supportive of all that but then insults the community. I can't try to educate her either because she comes up with "Why do you care? Are you a lesbian? Do you like girls?"

It's annoying. Plus what does that have to do with trying to educate her on basic human rights.

I'm not ready to tell her about how I feel. I know if I come out to her everything will be different.

She now complains that I always go to the men's section when we go buy clothes.

I don't understand why she cares so much either. She's all like "Choose the clothes you like" but then when I do she says she doesn't like it 😐

If I even mention that I hate something about my body like having my menstruation she's like "Why? Do you like girls? Are you gay?"
How does that make any sense?!

I can't even show emotion without her saying "you're life must be so hard, huh?"

She always says I love being the victim, that I believe the world is against me, that it revolves around me.

That's not true. Sometimes I do feel like everyone hates me. That I'll never be good enough.
I keep that to myself. I don't go telling everyone about my problems.

I tell you ma'am because you're the one who is supposed to care and try to make me feel better! But she does the exact opposite.

Today my mom got mad at me for not making up my mind on what I want to wear for the birthday party.

I did make up my mind. I chose what I wanted but she says their expensive. I know there are but I saw there were discounts and cheap suits but of course there was a problem. It was suits for men.

She doesn't want to buy them because according to her they don't have my size. I know that's bullshit. I can literally wear a suit for a 10 year old and it would fit just fine.

The more angry she got, the more stupid shit came out her mouth. She said that anime and Asian people have ruined my mentality.. Excuse me?

She says I always want to copy what they wear and all that. That is the dumbest shit I ever heard.

I'm done with her