Like it says in the title, it's a diary. But people can read it.
I thought this would be a funny idea and make my future self question my stupid entries.
Despite being a diary, I won't be updating daily.
⚠️This is mostly venting, so there will be...
So, my mom and I were talking about how my lonely ass still doesn't have friends.
Y'know it was all just pretty sad really- I literally don't know why people don't like me but it's whatever, I guess.
Then I brought up the topic that this girl (my toxic bff 😃) came out to me as "celesexual".
Celesexual is another of those stupid made up sexualities that are now somehow trending. Literally never heard about it until yesterday 💀
Here's the meaning on the urban dictionary:
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Like, what the fuck is this?!
Anyway, we kept talking about it and my mom asked if I liked women.
Just so you know, she always asks me this and all the times she does I just panic.
Today I answered "No, I always liked boys. All my life I only liked boys." Fucking liar-
My mom laughs at me and says I made a wierd face. Then she asks me if I have a crush on a guy.
I said no, that all the guys in my class are annoying and horrible.
Let me just reenact the whole conversation:
Me: "No no, hah. Every boy in my school are just horrible"
Mother: "Oh, come one. There has to be one you think is cute"
Me: "Mh, nope"
Mother: "Liar, you do have a crush!"
Me 💭: "I do, but on a girl"
Me: "Haha, nooooo"
Mother: "Okay then... What kind of guys do you like? Actors or something?"
I spent thinking on that for such a long time 😭 I couldn't think of anyone famous that I think looked attractive besides women Oh wait... I should've said Harry Styles-
Me: "Can I say a fictional character?"
Mother: "Ugh, what? You're going to marry a fictional character like one of thos lunatics? Basically you don't like guys at all."
Me: "No no no! Uh.. How about tell you traitsI don't like on guys"
Mother: "Alright"
I basically lied on this one too. Looks don't really matter to me. Like there are some exceptions but it's kinda hard to explain.
Personally and the way the person thinks is what matters to me.
... I want to feel the love of a women. I see wlw relationships and I die.
THEY ARE SO CARING AND NICE.
I just want a girlfriend. At least for one day.
Now I'm questioning if I'm actually am bisexual. Cause I am really attracted to women but I'm also attracted to men.
The thing is that the men are more attracted to are like more feminine than masculine.
I like masculine men too but I'm more towards feminine men.
I don't know. I still think I'm bi for that but not sure.
I just like feminine people more than masculine if that makes sense.
