Let's Not Fall In Love (SUAREZ SERIES III)

Chapter 11

Chapter 11

"Sigurado ka na ba, Deb?"

Hindi ko alam kung pang-ilang buntong hininga na ang pinakawalan ko ngayong araw. Ilang minuto na rin ang nakalipas simula nang makarating kami sa main branch ng SGH pero hanggang ngayon ay narito pa rin kami sa parking lot. Loey even had to get out of her car and get into mine because I couldn't seem to move my ass off my seat.

"I'm just worried. Last time, it didn't work out. And I don't even need to mention what happened in the previous years. You always end up getting disappointed. Puro negative lang ang natatanggap natin. And we can't forever ignore the fact that this is a nonconsensual testing..."

Bumaba ang tingin ko sa hawak kong sterile zip lock bag kung saan ko inilagay ang upos ng sigarilyo. "Paano kung ito na pala, Loey?"

"At paano kung hindi pa rin?" dugtong niya agad. "Paano kung hindi na naman? You already know that we can't expect a hundred percent accuracy of the test results dahil sa mga samples. The only way we can do it right is to have them undergo the test personally. Buccal swab, Deb. Cheek swab. Kung gusto natin ng siguradong-sigurado."

Muli akong nagpakawala ng malalim na hininga. I couldn't do that. I couldn't just approach them and ask them to do a paternity test with me randomly.

"Kung mahanap mo ang tatay mo, ano talaga ang balak mong gawin?"

I couldn't answer right away. Dahil sa totoo lang, hindi ko rin alam. Madalas kong sabihin noon na sa oras na mahanap ko siya, ipaparanas ko sa kanya ang hirap na dinanas ni Mama. Magbabayad siya sa ginawa niya kay Mama. Magdudusa rin siya. At gagawin ko ang lahat para isakatuparan iyon. I used the idea of revenge as my motivation to push through college and life.

Pero sa mga pagkakataong pinanghihinaan na ako ng loob kagaya ngayon, nabubura sa isip ko ang mga dahilan kung bakit ko siya hinahanap. Napapaisip ako kung ano ba talaga ang gusto kong mangyari sa oras na magkita kami. Execute my revenge and make him suffer? Will it even be effective? Duda ako roon, sa totoo lang. Sa sobrang halang ng kaluluwa niya, baka wala lang sa kanya ang lahat ng paghihiganti ko. He was an animal in a human form. He was heartless. A mere punishment from an unwanted child like me might not even hurt him. He might not even flinch.

Ang sagot sa tanong ng kaibigan ko... hindi na ako sigurado. The only thing I was sure of right now was I needed to find my father first. Kapag nahanap ko na siya ay saka ko na iisipin kung ano talaga ang gusto kong gawin.

But instead of telling her about that, humigpit ang hawak ko sa zip lock bag at ngumiti nang balingan ko siya.

"Let's go?"

She sighed in surrender. "Yeah. Let's go. And let's hurry. Dahil kapag nakita ako ni Mommy..." Napailing-iling na lang siya bago bumaba ng aking sasakyan.

"I don't even know how we managed to pull this off and keep this a secret for so long. Nakakagulat na hindi pa ako nabubuking nina Mommy," sabi pa niya habang papasok na kami sa ospital.

Maraming tao sa reception area at sa natatanaw naming emergency room. Hinila ako agad ni Loey patungo sa underground floor kung saan matatagpuan ang mga laboratory. Nasa pinakadulo ang laboratory na sadya namin.

"Suwerte ko na lang na hindi pa ako sinusumbong ni Kuya Damien."

Her older brother was a geneticist. He was the one who had conducted the paternity test on me all these years. Loey was from a family of medical practitioners. Both of her parents specialized in Cardiac and Thoracic Surgery. Medical director si Tito Apollo at ICU Head Doctor naman si Tita Brianna. Samantalang ang panganay nilang babae na si Ate Esther ay head nurse naman sa Pediatric ICU. Loey graduated with a degree in Bachelor of Nursing, topped the Nurses Licensure Examination, and is now on her fourth year in medical school.