Just a Fairytale [Kuroko Tetsuya x Reader x Nijimura Shuzo]{KnB}

[C.21] College: Diary Entry Twenty-One

In a sluggish manner, you drag your feet back to your shared apartment. It had taken you the whole day to get out of bed and continue on with life. Had it not been for the fact that your mother was on her way home, you would have extended your stay. Alas, you have no inclination to explain yourself to her, hence your sudden departure from home.

When you unlock the front door, you hear footsteps rushing over. Shock enters your system then fear. At the sight of Nijimura's exasperated expression, you feel the hell that is about to come.

"Where the fuck did you go?"

There isn't anything in the world that is going to fix this, to defend or justify what you had done. Your best friend deserves the truth after all that you have put him through due to your selfishness. 

"I... went back to Kuroko." 

Silence meets your admission, and you take the moment to put on some slippers. Your heart beats rapidly in your chest as you await his reaction. You feel unprepared and afraid, but above all, you want to disappear.

You take two steps into the apartment in hopes of heading to your room, but finally, Nijimura speaks up in response. "A-Are you serious?" Violent rage engulfs him but he refrains from completely acting on it. "We're not even broken up yet, and you just throw yourself back into his arms."

It's true, and you cannot tell him any differently. "I just can't be... without him."

Your eyes meet his. Hurt mixed with desperation swirl in them, and he breathes out, "What happened to us?"

"It just isn't working out. We shouldn't have done this," you say slowly.

"But this was your idea! I was willing to ignore it all and not bother going down this route. I was perfectly fine remaining friends."

You know. Marie informed you of all this, and you must come to terms with the ugly truth. "I-I just... How can I be happy if I didn't make sure?"

"You knew though, [F.Name]. You knew that if we did this, it'd be the end of our friendship. This path either led to marriage or the destruction of our friendship. That's what was at stake here!" Each word heightens with emotion until he explodes and punches the wall beside him, forcing a hole into the drywall. "And I was ready to settle down with you. That it'd be you for the rest of my life."

His confession brings a suffocating pain to this all. Why couldn't things have been easier? Why couldn't love not hurt this much? "I-I was only trying to make sure—"

Nijimura scoffs, "Well, now you've fucked up everything in making sure. Just... It's definitely over between us, so don't concern yourself about me anymore. Just run back to Kuroko."

"He doesn't... want me either," you voice feels hoarse upon confessing that.

But again, he feels no remorse for you. "Well, whose fault do you think that is?"

His words put the last nail in the coffin of your relationship, and he heads to his room. You hear him grab some things and run off; probably to a friend's place, but little is assumed as your mind wanders to other thoughts.

You cannot breathe or move. Frozen on the outside yet breaking on the inside. Breathing is the last thing you want to do. You don't want to continue walking, speaking, living. Your mind races for ways to stop yourself from participating in this world, but each thought brings more and more panic into your system. 

Tears flow, and you feel little air reaching your lungs. You're afraid, you're afraid of what you might do to yourself alone and you come to a realization; that you cannot be solitary right now.