Just a Fairytale [Kuroko Tetsuya x Reader x Nijimura Shuzo]{KnB}

[C.29] College: Diary Entry Twenty-Nine

A/N: Time for a shift in the story. Next chapter gonna be so good too ;o; (imo) Hope you all have some nice holidays <3

[__]

You feel apprehensive at the sight of Mariko's tense smile. After having received a phone call from her, you arrive at the agency's headquarters to go over your future with the company. Ever since you decided to return to modeling at a larger scale, there hasn't been many jobs available to you. Though you may receive an exponential amount of jobs online, the billboard and magazine campaigns want nothing to do with you.

Yet Mariko has grand news to share, and you arrive with many talking points in mind. For one, you want to begin your career again but this time to share positive body standards. Second, you want to advocate the truth and speak upon different stigmas. If you have suffered through such ordeals, certainly there are others that have withstood worse and you want to start a platform for those to talk and support one another.

Such ideas bring you a great sense of purpose, one that you hope will lead you down the path you desire. 

Mariko eyes you warily before reading the paper in front of her. "We do have someone interested in hiring you... The brand is called Iridescent. It's a mid-ranged lingerie brand that is geared towards luxury quality without the price."

All your ideals collapse under the weight of the news. You jaw slackens and you try to wrap your head around the prospect. "L-Lingerie!?" Although you arrived with confidence, it begins to shrink at the thought of posing in revealing attire. 

"Yes!" She wears a large smile in order to sell you the job. "They want you in be an ambassador. Isn't that great? That means they want your input on how to market the brand. So you'll call some of the shots."

You can tell that she hopes the title will soften the news, but your insecurities still prove to be an obstacle on the matter. "Is that the only job that wants me? Surely there are more."

She sighs and now annoyance paints her expression. "Listen, do you know how hard it's been getting you jobs now that you've gained weight?"

Her pointed attack calls for a defensive attitude from you. "This weight is healthy."

"You're overweight for the clothes people need you in."

"I'm healthy." You cross your arms, refusing to back down. "Modeling isn't a career I need. I'm not going to jeopardize my health, whether physical or mental, in order to fit some absurd beauty standard. Mariko, it's your job to find the jobs that fit me."

"And I am! It's just that... lingerie seems to be the only thing coming our way. They like your curves and your focus on the camera... If one door closes, another opens?"

The way she puts it makes sense and you begin to consider the task. After all, a job is a job and if you are trying to be body positive, shouldn't you show others what natural weight looks like? If you love yourself in such clothes, wouldn't it help other people try to embraces themselves as well? The client embraces you for how you look, maybe it's your close minded attitude that is stopping you from accepting.

"I guess I'm afraid of people mistaking me as some sex crazed person for doing lingerie," you admit with a weak smile. "But I think this might be an opportunity to do some good in Japan."

Mariko returns the smile. "I think so too. Do you want to run it by people?"

"I'll think on it and let you know in a week or two."

"Thank you!" she chirps and you nod your head while standing to leave. However, the sound of Mariko's gasp halts you in the process. "Oh! Also remember the band you did the album cover for?"

"Eh... Did I?" You tap your fist against your chin in thought.

"Their guitarist, Jung, reached out and asked if you could model for his solo debut album."

Your eyes widen with recognition. "Did the band break up?"

"No, no. They're working on their third album, but it looks like Jung got obsessed with something and wrote a whole album on his own."

"Wooooow," you hum.

"Yes, well, his manager says that he wrote thinking of you—"

You don't bother listening to her as you come to your conclusion. "Tell him thanks for the consideration but no thanks."

Her eyes widen. "No? It's a good job and right up your alley."

"I'm good, thank you, but I'll consider the lingerie." You wave goodbye and sprint out the door. Not wanting to push her luck, your manager keeps her thoughts to herself.

[__]

Kuroko watches from afar just as he always does. This time the only subject in his gaze is you, solely you for the past two weeks. Despite your ongoing interest in him, he cannot help but form a wall between you two. The heartbreak numbs away with each interaction, yet he still harbors some trepidation.

See, on the first day you and he reunited, he noticed that you and Nijimura weren't on friendly terms. In a matter of days, however, the familiar banter between you two returned. Seeing your friendship on the mend brings his insecurities back, that now he cannot fight off the need to build those boundaries once more. 

But as always, you notice his lingering gaze and reciprocate it. In that moment, you spot his troubles, his uncertainty, and the trauma he still holds. All from that one gaze on Kuroko's unreadable expression.

You pause your conversation with Nijimura, after having just handed him more snacks from your sponsorship. "Oh, excuse me. I have to go ask Kuroko something." 

Nijimura glances over at the boy, who has since returned his gaze onto his shoes as he awaits his turn for the practice match. He isn't sure what you would ask him, and truthfully, he feels better not caring. "Fine, I have to finish warming up anyways."

You nod your head and walk over to Kuoko amidst the bustling gym. When you stand before him, you send a small wave. "Hello." 

Kuroko blinks a few times as he wonders what you could possibly say to remedy his mending heart. "Hi."

"Are you okay?" You settle down beside him on the end of the bench, subtly so as not to attract any attention. Yet the battle between the two teams runs fierce and all eyes are on the match. 

"I suppose so." Kuroko returns his eyes onto the match. "Have you recently made up with Nijimura?"

"A bit. We got forced into a group project together with Abe, and so we started working on our friendship again."

"I see."

"Kuroko-kun," you say to grab his attention back onto you. When you receive it, you offer him your genuine feelings. "If you don't want to be with me, you don't have to. I cheated, I was stupid and I am not entitled to a second chance. If we can still be friends for life, then I'll be happy. If you don't want to be friends either, I will respect that too."

He appreciates your space, but for some reason, he still feels empty. "Thank you."

"I do love you... I probably don't know if I deserve to, but those are my feelings. I cannot hide them. But when you figure out yours, please reject or accept me. That's all I can ask for."

His eyes widen at your sudden confession. It's your second one, and it still brings him a flurry of emotions. He wants to give in and make it easy for the both of you, but is it healthy to do so? He did take his time in figuring out things while being alone. What he realized in his solitude was that you at your current state can never be with him again. He would get hurt over and over by your self-absorbed tendencies. 

 But this current version of yourself feels safe. As if he can love you unconditionally without getting hurt again. Though it's the fear of what you are capable of that makes him still hesitate. "I can't accept them right now."

"That's okay." You hum while turning away to face the match. "I will wait until you're ready to answer me. But we can still be friends, right?"

"Yes." The word feels bitter against his tongue as he wants nothing more than to be your everything again. However, he first must sort out his feelings before returning there. If he decides to return.