Just a Fairytale [Kuroko Tetsuya x Reader x Nijimura Shuzo]{KnB}

[H.5]High School: Diary Entry Five

You toss and turn in your bed, your mind drowning in self-hatred. Instead of performing the errand tasked to you, you ran straight home to collapse onto your bed and sob. Today's encounter had you go 100000 steps back on your journey of self-improvement.

Your vision of becoming a confident girl is now all but an unattainable dream. All of your actions so far had been to either avoid your problems or run away. Whenever you felt some courage to break the norm, it usually resulted in a miserable failure. It makes you question whether you ever had it in you to break out of the safety of your shell.

'Have you spoken to Tetsuya?' 

Upon recalling your memories of today, another choked sob escapes your lips. Why does everyone want you to speak to him? He probably hates you. You already hate yourself for what you put him through in middle school. There is no way he would want to see you.

The pain of Kuroko's supposed hatred rips your heart into even more pieces, and you press your face into the pillow to sob harder. The hardest part had to be having Kuroko witness firsthand how truly terrible of a person you are. Those gentle pair of eyes, wide with surprise... It pains you to even remember your last encounter with him.

You hear your phone buzz and you casually glance at it to see who you'd be ignoring, but when a certain name flashes on your screen, you decide it best to answer. "Shuzo?" you croak out.

"...You sound awful. What the hell?"

You reach over to grab some tissues and blow your nose obnoxiously. The boy groans with disgust at the noise. "S-Sorry, I just had to."

"It's fine, whatever. So what the hell happened to you? You sound like shit." There's never any tact to what he says, but you're used to it.

Doubt wracks your system. You don't want him to worry, but you need someone to expel your worries on. Nijimura can also already tell that something is ailing you, and he won't let go of the issue until you cave. "I... I didn't tell you about it through text but... I saw the gang from Teiko today."

The line goes quiet. You open your mouth a few times to continue, but your heart hammers with trepidation. "How are you holding up?" he asks tenderly.

You're stunned by his careful approach, and there's a need to acquiesce your true feelings. "I hate how I still can't handle them, Shuzo!" Your voice trembles under your admission of weakness and more tears spring up from the corners of your eyes. "What's worse is that I even met Haizaki, who still loves to bother me."

"You sprayed him right? I gave you that spray for exactly that!" he exclaims. You can practically hear him grit his teeth.

You bitterly smile. "No, Akashi stumbled upon us and scared him away. But I almost sprayed him; I had it ready in my hand."

"Akashi too? Wow... Did you meet him as well?"

Again it's the same question that everyone asks. "No, I'm so afraid to even see his face. But he has another game tomorrow after beating Murasakibara."

"I'm impressed... I didn't think Kuroko would advance so far."

There's a swell of pride that rises upon hearing his shock; however, that emotion soon becomes crushed under the weight of what you had done to the boy. You aren't in any position to be proud of his achievements and cheer him on.

"[Name]?"

"What?"

"I don't think Kuroko hates you as much you think he does," he says lowly. "You need to stop thinking about the past and move forward. Even Kuroko is moving forward with his new team."

"B-But what if I see him and he starts saying terrible things to me. I deserve it after all! A-And what if--"

"Woah, stop it right there." You pause as you await his reprimands. "[Name], if you're really worried about that, why don't you see him in circumstances of your choosing?"

"My choosing?"

"Yeah, just think of a game plan today and then you hunt him down in the setting you want. Then you'll be prepared and less anxious about it all," he explains.

Your sullen mood elevates as you think about how you can approach this. Suddenly, an idea brings light back into your eyes; the memories of Kuroko enjoying your lemon slices fill you up with excitement. 

"I know just the thing!"