Enigmatic

[M][TW] Nightmares

TW // Depression

Momo's POV

Flashback // After they broke up years ago

I looked at myself in the mirror, examining my gaunt face and haunted eyes. Lack of sleep and eating were beginning to take their toll on me. It was two months when I let Dahyun go.

And no matter how much I fill my time with all the modelling and the gigs, I just can't see the point of having a future without Dahyun by my side.

And every morning when I wake up, I'm reminded of just that. That Dahyun would not come back.

And I could definitely see myself wasting my life away, but I just don't have the energy to fully acknowledge it.

I barely eat or sleep, and on bad nights, I would drink my tears away and fall into a drunken slumber. I even brought my friends over to drink with me, and the next day, I would drink again. But then I'll just dismiss it and think that it's perfectly normal for someone as young as me to drink.

I drank way too much coffee too, but took in so little food. I would only be able to eat fruits and healthy stuff when Xiumin comes to feed me.

And when he does, I always think that he'll just lecture me about how I'm not eating or sleeping enough. That he's going to tell me to just get over Dahyun already. That he'll force me to go with him and unwind. I even thought that he would realize that I'm not fun to be with anymore, and that he might not want to be friends with me. Then he'll finally stop including me in everything.

But he did nothing of the sort, and it just made me feel worse.

How could I even doubt Xiumin now? He's my best friend.

He told me that he would never abandon me. Well, Dahyun also told me something like that, look where she is right now.

"Are you sure you don't want to go to the reunion?" he asked.

"One hundred percent," I admitted. "I would just feel lonely there. I mean, they are all probably engaged or married."

"There are a lot that are still single in your family, Momo." He commented.

"I know that. It's just— I just can't. I want to be alone. I want to reflect on what happened. And last time, I was with Dahyun. And I don't want to spend the night thinking about how I wish that she's there with me as we mingle with my family."

He sighed. "That's not really healthy, Momoring. You should keep yourself surrounded by the people who love you. I know that you still love Dahyun, but I'm this close to whooping her ass, and her friend Hanbin too!"

I was about to ask him what Hanbin has to do with anything but at that exact moment, JB sauntered up to open my door. "She will be fine, Xiumin. I'm going to bring her to New York. We can have wine and delicious food."

I wanted to hug JB right now, because I don't want to deal with Xiumin's guilt tripping. I just hope JB does not expect me to really come to New York with him. Although, if I'll choose, I'll definitely choose spending time with JB. I don't want to spend my time and receive all the pitiful looks from my family. I would definitely not be able to handle them scrutinizing my every move this year.

"Are you sure you want to go with JB?" Xiumin asked seriously. He probably just doesn't trust anyone from Dahyun's family.

"Well, it was certainly a surprise plan for me, but I'd rather be with him." I stopped and looked at JB who was lounging at my couch and playing on his phone. "Where exactly are you taking me?"

"I said that we'll go to New York, but we could also go to Italy. Visit Venice. You know I could easily book a hotel right at the canal. I'm sure you'll love it." JB explained.