Enigmatic

[M] Perfect

Sana's POV

Elated. Surprised. Giddy.

Happy.

If I could describe what I feel right now. Those words can't even begin to describe it.

After Dahyun's proposal, I hugged her so tight for a long period of time, but she never complained, then I cried. I cried so hard, but she just continued hugging me, rubbing my back.

There are a lot of emotions that come after this happiness. One of them was fear.

Fear that we're just too wrapped up in our own bubble and anytime soon, someone will pop it and we'll be slapped with the reality.

Fear that I won't be a good mother and wife for her and our child.

Fear that I'll never be up to the public and Dahyun's standards.

Fear that everything will just end, and I'll be left with nothing.

Dahyun wiped my tears away, and I melted in the intensity of her gaze, how her eyes shine up at me through her lashes, and her bittersweet smile.

"You are what I didn't know I was looking for," she said. "I admit that I felt regret for the time that I lost playing with all the other girls, and hope, of course, hope that what we have right now will be enough, not to absolve everything that I've done in the past but enough to make my world a little better, a little brighter than it was before."

It overwhelmed me, these feelings that I'm trying really hard to block. But Dahyun's face is as open as it can be that she kept closed for years. I could see myself reflected from her gaze, like looking into a mirror.

I could just close the distance between us — a distance that I never thought I ever dreamed I'd cross. I could relish the softness of her gaze in the softness of her lips. I could take the spark she'd ignited in me and pressed against her and share her warmth.

I could. But I didn't.

Instead, my eyes traced over her relaxed features, the story that was written all over her face; she was just too precious to look away. And now, everything that I need is: to remember what we had, to feel what we have, and believe in what we could be. It should be enough.

She didn't say those three words, which relieved me. I don't need to hear those words, if she doesn't mean it. And I don't even know how to respond to that. Why the hell am I even thinking about that in the first place?

"Sana-chan?" Dahyun asked quietly.

"Hmmm?"

"Can I kiss you?"

"Please."

I barely finished saying the word before Dahyun leaned into me. My eyes fluttered shut as our lips touched. Dahyun tasted the way she did when I first kissed her, but now she tasted like home. Safety. As I sank into it, into the feeling and her intoxicating scent and warmth, wanting more. Deepening the kiss as I wrapped my arms around her neck.

We broke apart, our forehead still touching. She looked like a god in the dim light, her eyes wide and glowing. She looked perfect.

I didn't pull away when she leaned in and kissed once more, soft and sweet. I wanted to be under her control, under her hands, I wanted her the way I had her during that night.

It felt like everything.

It felt like I was dissolving into the darkness that Kim Dahyun is. The world could have fallen apart, and I wouldn't have noticed.

And so I kissed her back, kissed her as if there was no consequence, as if we have all the time in the world. I let myself forget, for a moment, that Dahyun's unreachable, and I'm just someone simple who she couldn't get rid off now. Because I know the moment that we stepped out of our bubble, all of it could possibly slip from my fingers.