After The Run Away: Jason McCann: 3rd book to Dont Fall For The Criminal

Chapter 19 - Through The Motions

**Mackenzies P.O.V**

I've been home from the hospital a few days now. And honestly I'm not okay today. I'm over whelmed with everything I'm suppose to remember. Jason keeps telling me everything will be alright, but today I just don't believe it. I was fine the first two days here, but today I've been full of anxiety and stress.

What I do remember is the first sixteen years of my life. I was told I met Jason when I was seventeen so it kind of pisses me off that my memory had to cut off a year before I met him.

I remember growing up with Gigi, Alissa, and Becca. I remember my childhood house, my entire family, school, ex boyfriends sadly. Just about everything in those years. So the doctor thinks it's a really good chance all my memory will come back, but I'm still scared.

I'm scared because even though I do feel safe with everyone I have around me, they are still strangers to me. My mom flew back home last night so she isn't staying here anymore. Gigi has her own home with her own family to take care of.

Jason is being kind and loving, but I can tell at times he is getting irritated because I can't remember him. I haven't let him kiss me yet, he is staying in the guest bedroom because of me, I don't know what to even talk about with him. All I do is ask questions or just play with Drew.

I also feel bad for Drew because he is my son and I don't even know him. It angers me. This poor kid. He seems to be taking it okay. I hope. I'm trying to be as loving as I can to him. Although I don't remember anything, I do feel the connection with my son. Maybe I sound crazy. But I just feel the need to love and protect him.

And another thing that most likely triggered my anxiety was something that happened last night with Jason. It was something that seriously scared me.

**Flashback**

"So you guys are pretty dangerous, huh?" I asked Jason. We are sitting on the couch and Drew had just went to sleep upstairs in his room. We are talking about the gang. He chuckled.

"Yeah we are" He answered.

"That's how we have money?" I asked and he nodded. "I have one more question than I'm done being annoying. I promise" I said to him and he laughed again.

"You're not annoying, I promise." He said with a smile.

"I have to admit though, I'm scared to ask you this" I said back and he gave me a confused look.

"What is it? You can ask me anything" he assured me.

"Have you killed anyone?" I asked and his face went from confused to serious.

"Why are you asking me that?" He asked back. I didn't like to see him this serious. I guess that's my answer. He definitely did. Please I hope not. I mean he is in a gang, but still. That's not right.

"I'm just curious. I figured since gangs do that-" he cut me off.

"Yes I have, but we don't speak about it" he said still in a serious tone. I kept my mouth shut and just nodded. The room was filled with silence. I feel sick now.

"I'm going to sleep. Goodnight" I said without looking at him and I stood up.

"Wait" he said as he stood up quickly too. I looked up at him and he walked over to him. "Why are you going-" he stopped talking once he went to put his hand on my arm and out of instinct I pulled away a little and he looked confused again.

"I'm tired. I really want to go to sleep" I told him and he scoffed.

"There's no reason to be scared" he said shaking his head.