PSYCHE-KSJ•JHS✔️

|7|

|THIRD|

"How well do you know him?"

"Pretty well. He's a good guy. Well, for the most part." Namjoon rephrases.

Seokjin called him out of the house for drinks. He's feeling stressed and he can't figure out the exact cause. He doesn't know if it's Paris and her nagging, London's current childcare situation or him worrying about a woman that seems to hate him.

"What do you mean for the most part?"

"Hoseok is... complicated. But so is Jania. To the average woman, he's a walking red flag but to her, he's perfect. It works that way on both ends. She's a red flag right now, too. She's worse than him some days."

"How did she even end up with him? He's not her type. He seems dodgy."

"Oh, he is." Namjoon laughs. "Very. But they're the same. She's not looking for someone that's her type. I don't know what she's looking for but she found it in him. They're good together."

"Mn." Seokjin downs the shot. "I don't like him. I can't see her with him long term. If he's a red flag, he's gonna hurt her, Joon."

"You underestimate her ability to straight up stop caring about things. It's like a light switch with her. She did it with her job, Paris. You."

That catches his attention and not in the best way. "Me?"

Namjoon nods as he sips his whiskey. "She's not the same, Jin. Pain changes people and you did some fucked up shit. Hoseok is her balance. They could care less about what the other does but they care about each other."

"That sounds toxic."

"So is you and your baby mom having sex knowing you're going to regret it after. Y'all are so on and off that it's ridiculous."

"I don't want to be with her. I debate myself about it every other week. I force myself to for London but I can't deal with Paris. I don't know. I really try to. Something about her just irks me and I can't shake it unless I'm fucking her. That's the only time the sound of her voice doesn't irritate me."

"It always has and yet you still slept with her."

"I hate myself for it every day."

Namjoon looks at his cousin as he knocks his drink back. "Do you miss her?"

"Who?"

"Jah."

Seokjin swirls the ice in his cup as his jaw clenches. "Yeah."

He knew. Namjoon has always known. Seokjin knows that he fucked up. But through that came London so he doesn't like referring to it as a fuck up. Rather, a bittersweet experience.

Joon has observed both Jania and Seokjin since it happened. Jania outwardly seems unaffected and so does Seokjin. His sneaking glances give him away though.

"But I can't change anything. Even if I got the opportunity, what would I say to her? I'm sorry for ruining our friendship and getting your sister pregnant. Please love me." He laughs at himself.

"This is a joke. All of this shit. A fucking joke."

Seokjin never outwardly dealt with losing Jania. He couldn't. Paris starts acting weird if he even says her name. He's had to have heart to heart talks with himself. He can't tell anyone how bad he wishes his slip up would've been Jania.

He doesn't care how fucked that sounds. It's what he feels. If it had been her, he wouldn't be questioning anything. He wouldn't have to. It would be as easy as breathing.