PSYCHE-KSJ•JHS✔️

|21|

|JANIA|

I hold the papers from my doctor's visit in my hands. I keep reading over the part that says I'm seven weeks and four days.

I drive to work with a clouded mind. Too much is going on. I made an appointment a few days ago after I got sick again. Today they had me take another pee test and then set up an ultrasound appointment. I also got tested for other things.

I know that Seokjin keeps up with his sexual health but you can't put anything past anybody.

Hoseok came with me. He was quiet for most of it, we both were. He said that he would come over after I get off of work later. I haven't been feeling too hot lately, throwing up once or twice a day.

The doctor said that's normal but if I become dehydrated and things like that then I will need fluids. I don't want to have to do all that.

I walk into work and try to distract myself. Unfortunately, that doesn't work in my favor. Seokjin invades my thoughts. I haven't seen him since that day but he's been massaging me on Instagram.

It's mostly him checking in with me to see how I'm doing, how I'm feeling. He mentions nothing about what happened and I am happy about that. He asked me if I'm going to my mother's house for Sunday dinner this weekend and I told him that I didn't know.

He replied that he would love to see me there but understands if I'm not feeling well. I haven't told anyone else of my current body status. I don't feel like being scolded by my mother. I could tell my dad though. I know that he won't judge me even even after his lighthearted joke and Joon and Yuki's.

Speaking of judging me, I haven't told anyone about what happened between Seokjin and I either. I haven't told Namjoon because he might slip up and say something to Hoseok. Both of them might think ill of me.

Well, Hobi could probably care less and just tell me that I'm being messy. Namjoon is going to scold me. Yuki might scold me too but in a more subtle way.

Do I feel guilty about what happened? Kind of. Jin is with Paris. They're together. With a child and a home. I'm not going to be that person. No matter how bad I feel like she deserves it.

It wouldn't be karma because she isn't technically a home wrecker. Jin and I were never together.

The work day runs by pretty quickly and two hours before close, we get a birthday entourage. None of us are particularly upset about it because it's been an easy day. They're polite and excited about being here.

We have no qualms about singing happy birthday to the two birthday guests and their friends. In the end, they tip all of us $50 and thank us for a wonderful evening.

I say goodbye to all of my coworkers as we leave and head home. When I get there, Hoseok is already in the lot. He looks like he has an attitude when he gets out of the car.

We get in my house and he takes his shoes off and lays in my bed. I get undressed and take a shower before joining him back in the bedroom. I put on my pajamas, wrap my hair up get in bed. He hands me my bonnet and I thank him.

"Why you look upset?"

"UPS talking about they lost a package that was supposed to be delivered yesterday. And they're just now telling me today because the lady called them about it and then contacted me."

"So what has to happen now? How the hell they lose a box?"

"Man I don't fucking know. They gonna write a check for the value of the shoes and imma redo them for her. This is why I use FedEx. I don't have these problems with them."