PSYCHE-KSJ•JHS✔️

|12|

|SEOKJIN|

I got through work with a crazy headache from all of the yelling that went on last night. Truth be told, I'm surprised that London slept through that. I don't like arguing or yelling while she's around. Paris knows that.

But it's not like she cares. She says and does whatever she wants to whenever she feels like it. She switches up her emotions and feelings based on anything that happens that day.

The wind could blow too hard and then she's pissed and wants everybody to die.

I don't know why she compares everything that she does to Jania. I don't get it. Somehow, someway, she is brought up in every single argument. It never fails.

All I said was that she expects Jania to watch London all the time. She turned it into a comparison for her and Hoseok. Jania doesn't live with him and I know that she isn't letting him pay her bills. She's hyper independent and I don't know where she gets it from.

Either way, I know that they pay their bills separately and that he splurges on her without her needing to know. Prime example is Namjoon and Yuki's baby shower. He bought her all the same shoes that he got their baby. I know that those sneakers aren't cheap, especially if it's been a while since their last drop date. I bought Jania her first two pairs. She's in love with them.

Their dynamic seems weird for them to be together but it works, I guess. Not to mention that Jania showed me her breasts. Is that cheating? If Paris showed her chest to another man, would I be upset?

Maybe they aren't monogamous.

I can't see Jania being in an open relationship, though. I know that Namjoon said that she's changed or whatever but I just can't see it. She's a sweetheart but she's rooted in emotion. I fear for Hoseok's well being if he ever cheats on her.

All hell would break loose. Which is why it's so surprising to me that she didn't swing on me that day. I'd have preferred that over her not speaking to me. But she didn't. She just screamed, yelled and left.

Upon arriving home after work, I park my car and go inside. Paris is sitting on the couch crying. She's in hysterics.

"What's wrong?" I put my bag down and walk over to her.

"I don't know. I was fine at work and then I came home and I just feel like shit."

The worst of every thought that I can think of crosses my mind. It takes half a second for me to dismiss it as soon as it's there. I am not that reckless.

"Did anything happen today? Where's London?"

"She's with my dad. I have to go get her. My mom and I talked when I was at work and she was saying that she feels like Jania doesn't care about the family because she doesn't even come visit. So I went to text her and she didn't respond. Then I remembered that my number is blocked.

"So I went to her Instagram page and she's been posting, she just doesn't want to talk to me. I don't know what I did to her. We had a baby together, so what? She needs to get over it."

I don't understand why she thinks that Jania has to move on her time.

"She needs time, Paris. It's going to take a while for her to heal."

"Heal for what? You weren't even together. What's so hard about getting over you?"

I don't say anything as I rub her back. That may be true but I love her. I just... I messed up.

"You didn't like her back, right?" She looks at me and I debate with myself. Heavily. If I say no, she'll use this in an argument to rub in her face. If I say yes, she'll have an attitude about it.