PSYCHE-KSJ•JHS✔️

|58|

||before y'all start, I just want to clarify that Jania is under the impression that she either already lost the baby or that her losing the baby is still going to happen. Like inevitably

|JANIA|

I stare at my phone as I hold the remote in my hand. I crunch the ice that's in my mouth before continuing to scroll down my Instagram page.

There were so many signs of this bitch being all over my shit and all over his shit that I'm upset with myself for not seeing them. I'm upset with myself for not thinking about this sooner.

Maybe I thought that she was kind of like me.

That even though Hoseok and I were having sex, we were still good friends. That if he got someone other than me pregnant before, I'd have been happy for him. For them. Because that's all that we were. Good friends.

And then I got pregnant.

And then the line blurred until it was smudged and smeared into almost nothing.

And then he lied to me. Multiple times.

And then he played with my head. And then he played with my already fragile emotions. And in the midst of doing all that, he gave this bitch something that no bitch should ever have over me.

Power. Some pissy ass sense of authority because she was getting fucked too. Some weird ass battle of animosity because she's supposedly pregnant by the same man.

Supposedly.

He didn't even know. I wonder if he does now. I wonder if all of this was worth it for him. I wonder if by some fuck ass miracle, I'm screwed by the universe again while he gets two demon spawned blessings. One as the replacement for ours. Because God just knew I'd be fucked over once again.

Me. It's always me.

I scoff and go to Hoseok's Instagram page. For my own answers, I deserve to know.

Are her kids even yours?
Because if they aren't, I want you to think about the fact that we lost our daughter for fucking nothing.

He reads it almost right after I send it. He's typing for a few seconds before the bubbles stop. He leaves me on read and I roll my eyes.

Classic him, apparently. Dodgy and bullshitting. The same as when I met him. A glorified asshole, he's fine and has good dick.

I hold the remote tighter in my hand and scroll through Netflix. I asked this fucker to mount the TV and now that I'm thinking about it... why is it still sitting on the TV stand?

Can he not do anything right at all? My god.

My phone buzzes as I click on the new season of Stranger Things. I look down at it and my lip curls. The fuck does this bitch want?

leah_baby sent a photo.

I tap on it and raise my eyebrows.

Oh.

She's tryna be funny....

The picture is real time, of Hoseok sitting on her couch with a scowl on his face and his hands in his lap. She has white lettering that says 'he's occupied'.

I think about replying as my thumbs hover over the screen. My body gets hot as my heart beats faster. My palms start to sweat. Why is this pissing me off so bad?