PSYCHE-KSJ•JHS✔️

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|SEOKJIN|

Never in my life have I ever seen Jania look so.. sad. The reason is completely understood. A few hours after Hoseok left, she was given what she'll remember as the worst news she's ever gotten.

Her hormone levels are fluctuating. With the amount of blood lost and where her numbers are, it's predicted that she either passed the baby at Hoseok's house or will pass it soon if her levels keep dropping. She refused the ultrasound for confirmation. She didn't want to look.

Jania cried and begged and pled for them not to make her do it. She didn't want any type of confirmation that she had lost or is going to lose her child.

With that, they discharged her. Well, they kept her for another 16 hours to make sure that she wouldn't hemorrhage or lose any more blood. But after that, they let me take her home.

She didn't want to go to her apartment for the first couple of days. There were baby things lying around or out and she couldn't bring herself to look at any of it.

So she stayed with Yuki for two days while Namjoon and I went to her apartment. We put all of the baby's things in the nursery room and closed the door. We don't know when she'll open it again, if she ever will.

After that, we spent the rest of the day cleaning her apartment. It wasn't very dirty considering that she hadn't really been there. But we wanted the house to smell clean for her. She likes the smell of cleaning products and a fresh environment helps with healing of any kind.

It's been a week since she's been out of the hospital. She's been back in her own apartment for three days. We check in with her often. She only replies with thumbs up as a sign that she's still alive and breathing. She hasn't the energy to reply to anything other than that.

Yuki called her job two days after she got out of the hospital and very vaguely explained the situation to her manager. She was more than okay with giving Jania as much time as she needed.

The situation was also vaguely explained to Yuki and Joon's parents as well. I didn't know that they knew she was pregnant. But they were saddened by the news as well.

Nobody's heard from Hoseok much at all. Namjoon and Yuki both have texted and he's replied once with nothing but an 'I'm fine' and left it at that. He won't answer either of their FaceTime calls but answered one of Yuki's regular calls. She asked him how he was doing and if he was eating.

He said that he was fine and that he was eating. Joon said that he didn't sound like himself at all. There was no snark to his tone, no hype. He was just... talking.

I don't like the guy, never really have. But he didn't deserve this. Nobody deserves to feel the pain of losing a child. That's soul wrenching. It has to be. I could never imagine losing London.

No matter how many times I tell Paris I regret ever having sex with her, it will never mean that I wish London wasn't conceived. I can't imagine life without her now that she's here. Since I knew that she was beginning to exist, the feeling of fatherhood had rooted itself into me. I will always be thankful to Paris that we had her.

Even if the woman irks every single nerve in my goddamn body.

"Have you talked to my sister lately?" She asks as I strap London into her car seat. "She's been M.I.A. My mom and I can't get ahold of her. Even my dad said she hasn't really been replying to his texts."

"Well, she already wasn't speaking to you and barely talking to your mother so that should come as no surprise."

"But you've talked to her?" She asks and I roll my eyes.