Uproar /PJM FF

Chapter 55

Life is nothing but a summary of flitting moments. A construction of seconds, minutes, and hours that we experience and end up calling them memories. If someone was to bring numbers to count the sum of someone's life, it sure will appear as something very long for even a day is a whole 24 hours that could appear endless to someone yet you will definitely find from the ones that consider it short, no matter if they lived for a day or a hundred years.

Regardless of those perspectives which were neither true nor false for it was a matter of personal opinions, you found yourself belonging on either. Because for you life was neither long nor short. All it was, was there. It was there as long as you stay there, it exists as you exist, it breaths with you and walks with you and that is why when people have bad days, their life seems stuck, for they are stuck and life waits for them by their side. Many don't realize why they should even be thankful to live for that small gesture but imagine how more painful it would be, if your life was to go ahead, without you.

Life dies. Life isn't eternal. Life is born with you and is your companion till your last breath. That life that we curse at, blame for, and never embrace, is the one that never leaves our side, nor runs away to abandon us behind. It never betrays you on your hard days, for life is living everything with you. It didn't want to be difficult on us either, nor did it want to be this unloved, detested, and hated. 

If you could imagine the pain life must have felt, seeing us running away from it, trying to kill her along with ourselves. If you could feel that taste of bitterness that life must taste, every time it finds itself in this one-sided love with humans. How much would you have broken, how much would you have cried? When a soul you welcomed to your embrace, would rather die than accept you how you were. 

Your life surely was not beautiful always. The more you lived the more you had started seeing and feeling life's harsh side. Her skin became rough to the touch and her embrace no longer was warm. Her existence and love became something you couldn't value nor care of. You surely had treated your life badly for what was it at fault, that it had no warmth to give you, what was it at fault, that it could no longer gift you soft hugs. It had broken along with you, life was scared as much as you, but you had tried once to abandon it unlike life did with you.

It was hard to explain, and many would most likely find this thought process of yours as silly, for life has no feelings and it was nothing but absurd to personify it like you were doing it. However, that so-called silly perspective of yours had brought a big change in your life and had played a big role in your mental health.

The moment you had stopped blaming it for everything, you had stopped blaming your own self. The moment you had started behaving towards your life as a friend that you cared for and wanted to treasure and mend its wounds, you had ended up healing so many parts of you. Of course, you had not completely gotten to make every inch of her rough skin, smooth yet nor you will ever be able to, but you had realized that you had to accept life, with the rough parts and the good ones, for that was what it was and she accepted you for who you were.

The days will pass anyways, for as long as you hold its hand and she holds yours. The more you show love to live, the more it will love you back and at that very moment, after many years of believing and reciting inwardly that sentence that Helena had written in her notebook, you came to realize that you must have made life feel loved by you, for it was finally loving you back, like never before.

It was inevitable to not feel life's love when being surrounded with a hyper Sira that was in the best of moods and an Areum that was trying to stop her from drinking from her third order of coffee, just so she could create a mustache with the creme and start speaking on Santa Clause's voice again.