Uproar /PJM FF

Chapter 66

You can't choose, who you fall for they say, for love can be unpredictable but it is most likely not random.  There's always a pattern each of us gets more attracted to, but there's only one that fits our puzzle piece perfectly. And that someone is no perfect other half but is merely a person that mirrors us perfectly.

Now that surely does not mean that the other person is identical to us for our reflection is not the same as we are, it's flipped. It's the opposite of us yet similar. That reflection is what we most often fall for. That similarity or opposition that we define our relationships by.

The truth is however that in both cases, we are not similar nor opposite of whoever we are falling for, we are merely partially blind, for we either see on the other, what we see in ourselves or see what we don't see in ourselves. Like yin and yang, we all have both components, of good and bad, broken and solid, messed up and healthy, kindness and meanness. And it is at the moment that you realize that the one that is facing you, is no different than you, that you truly embrace that someone, for whatever they may be and excuse your own self for whatever you may have become. 

As Jimin kept holding your hands and speaking of the events that had been going on regarding Jaehyun, his aunt and the truth related to Taehyung's and his own true parents, you couldn't help but clearly notice the emotion of despair dancing in his orbs and that had left you with nothing more, but a tight feeling on your chest.

You had never had such an issue when it comes to family, but that hint of despair sure felt familiar. Even if he had not been speaking of how those events had emotionally affected him yet, you found yourself absorbing that slice of pain that was emitting from him, as his facial expression remained casual.

"I intended to tell you sooner about all this. I really did but somehow, the time was never appropriate...I apologize." He finished his explanation with words that you found unnecessary even though you valued the fact that he was being considerate over the possibility of you feeling as if he had left you out of such an important moment of his life.

However, you were not mad nor hurt by it, all you were was shocked and in disbelief for the things he had told you, weren't exactly easy to swallow.

"What are you even saying? That's not what's important right now. You...You love your brother...you loved your father, your mother...oh Jimin...I am so sorry." You couldn't help but reach out your arms and pull him in your embrace, holding his head near your chest softly as you felt his arms getting wrapped around you.

"I am okay my love, don't say sorry. I know...It's most likely what I deserved." He spoke as he closed his eyes, inhaling your scent that made his breath shaky for like magic, it had shrunk him, into someone so tiny and vulnerable.

 "You don't. It's not your fault. Nothing was ever your fault. The only mistake you ever did was love." You kept him tighter as your eyes started getting filled with tears, finding his life unfair.

There were so many people that could think of him as a bad person, for one reason or another. He was strict and as thus came off as heartless, he was cunning and manipulative for his own good. He was smart and liked to be a step ahead, even if that meant that he would have to use means that may not respect someone's personal boundaries or space. But all those aspects that some could consider as negative were birthed by insecurities. Were created by the pieces of his broken heart in despair of some security and safety. 

Now you knew him so you knew, what he truly was. What his heart was truly made off, behind all those veils of cold that he uses to cover himself up. The shirt of confidence he wears, the coat of a villain that he uses to shield himself to make every hit he gets seem deserving and as such something he should not feel too hurt over.